Massive natural destruction. Displaced children and families. Confusion and complaints. Numerous injuries and deaths.
The various problems caused by Hurricane Katrina are hard enough for adults to understand — one can only imagine how much harder it is for children to understand the havoc wreaked by the storm.
Baptist leaders across the state recognize that children have specific issues in dealing with the trauma of Hurricane Katrina and other natural disasters, and they are encouraging parents and other adults to practice heightened sensitivity with children during such times.
Nancy Akins, minister to preschool and children at Vestavia Hills Baptist Church in the Birmingham Baptist Association, said parents need to be aware of any changes in their child’s patterns — things that reveal that their children may be internalizing the images they see on television or hear about from adults.
Emotions shown in behavior
“Parents should always look for changing eating and sleeping patterns, withdrawal, unusual quietness and lack of interest in enjoyable, fun things,” Akins said.
Children often display such symptoms because they have strong emotions about the disaster, she said. They are often confused, upset or fearful.
Bryan Martin, singles minister at Southside Baptist Church, Huntsville, is serving as the church’s staff coordinator for Katrina relief efforts. He said children often have a lot of fear after a disaster.
Even if they are not actually caught in the disaster, they often fear that something similar might happen to them. “They ask questions like, ‘Will I be okay? Will my family leave me alone if something like this happens? Is any of this my fault?’” Martin said.
“Children need to know that they have permission to express their emotions and questions. Often a child is not even looking so much for answers as he/she is seeking comfort and security.”
At Meadowbrook Baptist Church, Oxford, Minister of Students and Children J.D. Plummer said children often question the reasoning behind such a disaster. “They might ask, ‘How can God do this to people? Why did God not protect them? Will God protect me if we were in a hurricane?’”
There are many practical ways for parents to respond to their child’s needs at times like these.
The first, Plummer said, is to reassure them that God is in control of all situations. “Tell them that God is still in control even in the troubled times of our life.”
Martin said that taking the time to consider your child’s needs is also vitally important. “Actively listen to your child,” he said. “Even for those in the middle of this disaster — who’ve lost homes, jobs, life as they know it — they need parental concern and attention.”
According to Jonathan Davis, assistant professor of family studies at Samford University, adults must first acknowledge that their children are stressed by such events. “They need a predictable structure within which they are safe and their full range of feelings is accepted,” he said. “If a child seems fearful or anxious, they need reassurance.”
Communication with children is of utmost importance, and experts said parents must do everything possible to be open and honest with traumatized sons and daughters.
“Adults should answer their questions honestly and calmly, with simple facts and in words that the child can understand,” Davis said.
Akins said easing stress always starts with a willingness to listen. “Listen and do so without prompting,” she said. “Also discuss current events as a family. As with any discussion, always ask your children, ‘What do you think?’” While there are definite things that parents should do following a horrible disaster, experts also agree that there are things that should not be done as well. One of the most important, they say, is not dwelling on the disaster.
By all means, Akins said, parents should turn off the television. “Even when children don’t understand the words, they understand, feel and respond to the tones of anger, anguish, stress, fear, confusion, heartbreak, the list goes on and on.”
She said children react to the destructive pictures they see in the news.
“When you see a dog standing on the top of a car in flood waters, how does it make you feel? It is heartbreaking,” Akins said. “Children absorb these images and sounds.”
“Protect your children by limiting their exposure to the media coverage of the disaster,” Davis agreed.
Christian parents can take all of this advice a step further and make the recovery process one that draws their entire family to God. Christian parents should be involved in God-affirming activities that teach their children vital lessons in the midst of disasters.
Akins encourages families in her congregation to continue — or begin — family devotion times to encourage their child’s spiritual growth and questioning during times such as this.
“Pray as a family. Read the Bible as a family. Attend church together and make it a priority for your family,” she said. She added that accomplishing church-based projects as a family is very important.”
Davis reiterated the importance of such spiritual activities, saying that these times of family togetherness create a haven of protection for the child — while also stressing reliance on God.
“Find some way to respond together as a family in regular prayer,” he said. Children often feel as if they have no control over the circumstances of a disaster. One of the best ways to curtail this is to help them get involved in helping victims.
Martin said he has been encouraged by the volunteer work done by children in his church and the community. “I’ve seen children voluntarily giving, bringing donations of needed items to collection spots,” he said.
“Others have been working alongside parents by volunteering time to assist sorting and cleaning in resource areas. This tragedy has greatly affected the younger generation, and they have responded quickly and sincerely.”
If parents wonder how to get their child involved, Martin suggested activities such as giving monetarily from their savings or by doing odd jobs; befriending displaced children, as they have an opportunity to encounter them at school or other locations; volunteering time; and praying for those affected by this disaster.
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