First person: Achieving clarity, common understanding takes time, willingness to try

I found myself doing it again — talking increasingly louder to the person not understanding what I was saying. Instead of reframing how I presented the information, I kept stating the same words while pumping up the volume. Somehow, I thought it would help.

Why do we go about it this way? I’ve even done it when trying to communicate with someone who speaks another language, and I’ve seen other people do it too.

We might slow down our pace a little, but we also increase the volume in an attempt to get the other person to understand.

Watching various discussions play out on social media recently, I noticed a similarity. While there’s typically no sound associated with the back-and-forth comments, the heightened intensity is obvious.

Losing the point

In the threads of quick-hit, straight-to-the-point statements, the foundational point can easily get lost, sidetracked or misconstrued.

And then we are tasked with clearing up the confusion and possibly a bit of damage control.

It makes me think of the illustration of squeezing toothpaste out of its tube and then demonstrating what it’s like to put it back in the tube — pretty much impossible.

Once something is said out loud and/or published in any type of format, it’s out there and available to be shared globally within a few moments.

Lost in translation?

No matter how loud our explanation or how emphatically we write it, the person hearing or reading the message still interprets it from their vantage point, life experiences, cultural background and current frame of mind.

My new friend LaShawn (find out more about her in this story) reinforced this understanding for me recently when she helped me see how referring to those who are hard of hearing or deaf as “hearing impaired” is insulting to those who can’t hear.

“It makes it seem like we are broken and need to be fixed,” she shared.

I innocently thought I was being sensitive and appropriate when in fact I was trying too hard and ended up being offensive.

‘Finding their way’

Some voices in Southern Baptist life are finding their way through similar situations.

Willy Rice, pastor of Calvary Baptist Church in Clearwater, Florida, is a little more than three months into his role as SBC president, a one-year term with the option of being re-elected to a second one-year term.

While he has been vocal and clear about his stances, he shared with our director of content Shawn Hendricks how he realizes his current role representing all Southern Baptists (not just those who elected him) provides the opportunity to be positive about what is working well rather than solely focusing on what needs changing.

Granted, Rice has an ambitious list of what he would like to see accomplished during his year as president, but his recent comments indicate he is trying to respect the questions and concerns of those who might not agree with him on all the issues.

Speaking to SBC Executive Committee trustees during their Sept. 21–22 meeting in Nashville, Rice chose to focus on the productive moves that have been made in how the EC helps churches handle the horrific discoveries of sexual abuse.

Some would say he hasn’t always handled his words quite as well and left an impression of insensitivity and possibly even lack of concern. You can find Shawn’s full story at thebaptistpaper.org.

As we at TAB Media Group work to report through our various publications and platforms, please know we are working hard to grasp a full understanding of each situation and coverage opportunity.

It’s one thing to merely report the words that are said in the moment; it’s an entirely separate and complex responsibility to help connect the dots for what those words actually mean.

‘Truth with compassion’

Thank you for always helping us with context and understanding, especially when we are trying to put the puzzle together of what wasn’t said as much as what was said.

Jeff Iorg, president and CEO of the SBC EC, thanked TAB Media Group and other faith-based communicators in Nashville last week for holding strong to a philosophy of truth-telling, even when it isn’t flattering.

And being positive while sharing the truth isn’t always easy, he said, but he appreciates the effort — which of course reminded me of our motto, “truth with compassion.”