It’s rare that Gene Mitchell drives anywhere in his truck listening to Christian music without getting teary-eyed, some 18 months after his wife died of cancer.
“Songs now have a different meaning, things I’ve never heard in a song before,” Mitchell told The Alabama Baptist.
The change is not just because of Donna’s death, but because of the renewed relationship with Christ he found through GriefShare at First Baptist Church Foley.
“I am now the man of God that my wife had prayed for me to be for 47 years,” Mitchell said.
Opening up
A retired schoolteacher, Mitchell was part of the first GriefShare group at FBC Foley last fall. The skeptic in him was reluctant to attend, unsure of opening up about what he was feeling.
“I had been encouraged by the pastor to at least give it a try,” Mitchell recalled. “As soon as I get there, I’m the only man there. I’m thinking, ‘What are you doing here?’”
Despite his unease, he acknowledged the session leader’s encouragement that everyone try at least three sessions before dropping out.
“It didn’t take me three,” Mitchell said. “When we left that day I told another lady from church, ‘I know now I’m exactly where God wants me to be today.’”
Learning to cope
GriefShare, a national ministry hosted by local churches, set Mitchell on a better path as he copes with the loss of his wife.
“It has helped me tremendously. I still suffer from grief, but I also know that everything I’ve felt God has felt,” Mitchell said. “God created these emotions, and God has felt these same emotions for the same Son that I place my trust and hope in.”
The Bible-based, 13-week curriculum guided Mitchell toward a stronger relationship with Christ, drawing him closer than he has ever been.
“I now know that He doesn’t abandon us when we feel the loneliness and the sadness of losing someone,” Mitchell said. “He’s very real to me every day now.”
The way Mitchell sees it, he’s now living out his wife’s legacy.
“This is the way she lived. She was such a woman of God, and for me to be any less than what I am right now would let her down,” Mitchell said, adding he looks up at the ceiling and cries during worship services “because I know my wife is rejoicing.”
Supporting others
Leah Wilson, senior adult ministry director at FBC Foley, said the GriefShare classes range from an hour to two hours depending on how talkative people are, and they help participants use what they’ve gone through to help others.
At Christmas, the church hosted a supplemental “Surviving the Holidays” gathering.
“You do it as if you’re having a holiday party,” Wilson explained. “You decorate if you so choose, and you serve the typical Christmas cookies; you watch a 30-minute video. It was dynamic.”
Mitchell made a new friend at the gathering, a young man who lost his wife in a car accident only 15 months after their wedding. Now the two have coffee together at least once a month.
While people experience loss and grief for various reasons, Mitchell noted, all are invited to join a GriefShare group.
“We have people that are at a loss not necessarily because of death of a loved one but loss from separation, loss of a job, anything like that that they’re dealing with.”
Healing through Scripture
Topics covered in the GriefShare workbooks include fear, feeling overwhelmed, anger, regrets and being stuck in grief, Mitchell said.
“There is Scripture related to every one of these.”
Christian leaders such as Tony Evans, Joni Eareckson Tada, Paul David Tripp and Joyce Rogers share their stories in GriefShare videos.
Throughout the study, participants are invited to trust Jesus as Savior, the reason for their hope. GriefShare’s website provides supplemental videos and daily devotions to help people walk through the process. Anyone interested can locate nearby groups simply by entering a zip code on the website.
Wilson relayed a relevant thought from a GriefShare Facebook post: “People rush to get rid of grief because they see it as hanging on to a loss, but grief is really hanging on to love, which is why you always feel it.”
“That’s just a perfect way of putting it,” she asserted. “If you didn’t love someone, you’re not going to grieve. That’s what grief is. It’s love.”
“We grieve much because we loved much,” Mitchell concurred.
For more information visit griefshare.org.
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