For Tim Timmons — a singer, songwriter, author, podcaster and self-proclaimed “bald guy” — focusing on gratefulness and contentment no matter the circumstances means writing an “X” on his wrist each morning with a permanent marker.
Several factors led to this tangible reminder. Timmons heard there are only 10,080 minutes in a week. He had spent years focusing on only 80 minutes — the Sunday morning church service.
“I found myself soul-tired in the last two years of my full-time, well-paying job at our church. I had spent my life working for God, leading worship and small groups, having quiet times and loving people who were hard to love,” he said. “I wrote songs that pointed others to Him and tried so hard to get them placed on projects to be shared with the wider world.”
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Timmons continued, “I found myself spiritually exhausted. If I were being graded on my work for God, I would have given myself an ‘A’ for sure. So why wasn’t He using me? Why wouldn’t He use the gifts and tools given to me to point people back to Him? Furthermore, why would He use certain other artists who seemed more in it for their own fame and glory, not God’s?
“I knew I had to quit the exhausting game of working ‘for’ Jesus. I was finally done,” Timmons said in his recent release, “Waking Up Again: A Journey of Grief and Gratitude.”
Learning to trust Jesus every moment
Timmons truly wanted to “join Jesus” every single day. He was trying to trust Jesus with the next step — not just in the big decisions of life but in every moment. He aspired to “not work ‘for’ Him but walk ‘with’ Him.”
The ancient persecuted church showed they were Christ-followers by drawing an “X” in the sand. Timmons adopted that idea by combining the “X” on his wrist each day with a prayer for God to open only the doors He cared about.
This reminder helped Timmons keep his focus where it needed to be, even after being diagnosed with incurable cancer and wanting to quit. He began to learn about the difference between doing things “for” Jesus and doing things “with” Him. He did a word study and found that “doing for” was rarely used in the Bible.
“But we — you know, in Christian circles — use that word all over the place. We do things for God. We evangelize for God. We are nice to people for God. We are nice to our enemies — trying to be — for God,” he said. “But at some point, I’m just not that awesome. I’m not that powerful to actually work through those things. But if I get to love my enemy with Jesus and pray blessing, that’s ‘with.’ With Him, my life looks like Jesus.”
Overcoming worries of the past
Timmons grew up in a family that was very well-off but then became very poor after his parents’ divorce. His natural inclination is to worry — especially concerning finances — instead of trust. However, just like he practices songwriting so that when he has a creative moment, he is prepared enough to write a great song, he now actively practices trust.
“I’ve been addicted to worry most of my life. (But now) I’ve been practicing for the past 10 years, saying, ‘Jesus, you have my attention. I, if I were king — this is how it should go. But apparently, I’m not the king — and apparently You are,’” Timmons said.
Looking at Timmons’ life now, it would be easy to think that he “made it” and contentment should be easy.
He has lived 20-plus years after the cancer diagnosis. His songs have gotten some traction. Some of his journey is included in the film “I Can Only Imagine 2,” a sequel to the incredibly popular movie, “I Can Only Imagine.” Both are about the contemporary Christian group MercyMe and their lead singer Bart Millard before and after their rise to fame.
However, behind the scenes, it was very different.
“Even as we’re making movies about my life, we were having some major financial [issues]. I wasn’t working as much as I thought. I mean, we’re taking out credit card debt. This huge movie’s out and it’s just like, ‘OK, this is really stressful, and I hate all this stuff,” Timmons said.
Back to the ‘X’
However, Timmons uses the “X” to focus on what God is doing instead of worrying.
Timmons continued, “Jesus, You woke me up again today, and I’m going to join you in the midst of this stuff. I’m going to practice trusting that You’re actually at work, even in the midst of these hard situations.”
He has also learned the difference between surrender and contentment.
“These past years have been a gift in practicing contentment in all areas. In the book, I talk about (how) you can’t have contentment without surrender, but you can have surrender without contentment. I think I practiced surrender for so many years early on, but I wasn’t able to actually say, ‘OK, I’m going to be content wherever I am.’
“Not happy about it. Not happy that I’ve got cancer. Not happy that my kids are doing whatever they’re doing. It’s not happy for the thing or happy for my finances. It’s content in the fact that God is at work in all things.”
He noted, “I think about that as I am learning how to join Him in life, in the midst of my grief and in the midst of my day — with gratitude.”
To find out more about Timmons, 10000 Minutes, “Waking Up Again,” his music and “I Can Only Imagine 2,” go to www.timtimmonsmusic.com.
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