Many people have heard about a baby being discarded, sometimes even found in the trash.
Jackie Darby, missionary in Guatemala and an author, was a newborn when she was abandoned in a garbage dump in Seoul, South Korea. In her bilingual Spanish and English children’s book, “Whose Am I? The Truth About Your Worth and Identity in Christ,” she writes about her journey of being found by a missionary and being adopted.
“I was adopted when I was 8 months old. My parents were very loving and provided everything that I needed. But deep down in my heart, there was always something missing.
“I always had a lot of questions and doubts regarding my adoption — mostly the question, ‘Why? Why was I abandoned? Why did I start life under those circumstances?’”
Because of being “treated like a piece of garbage,” Darby felt like her life didn’t matter. When her parents added to the family an adopted son who was left on a doorstop in a basket, it was difficult not to compare their stories.
“Oh, he was Moses. His mom loved him. She wanted him to be found. I was left to die in a garbage dump.
“That was the most haunting question that I had. I just wanted to understand why. Who left me? Why was I left?”
Identity questions
Though raised in church and not treated differently, she really struggled with her worth and identity. Not only was she the only Asian in her peer group, but she also wore physical scars from being bitten by rats in the trash heap — a daily reminder of her origin.
“I didn’t feel like I blended in with the other kids. I was very ashamed of my story. I never talked about my story,” she said.
When Darby was 22 years old, she moved to Florida. At one of the lowest points in her life, she realized that the only way to change was to do her part.
She told God, “If You’re the God I’ve heard of my whole life, that I’ve been taught about my whole life, please forgive me for my poor decisions. You have to come into my life and help me. I feel like I made a mess of my life.”
“He was faithful and He did it. Little by little I began healing. I began that journey and my walk with the Lord. But it wasn’t a quick fix. There are many chapters, many layers,” she said.
Opportunities to share
During her continued healing, Darby and her husband, Randall, became missionaries in Guatemala. The plan hadn’t been to work with orphaned and abandoned teens while there, but there was a need. Then God opened up opportunities for her to begin sharing her story — little by little.
It was never on her radar to write a book, especially one about her beginnings. However, one night she had a dream that she wrote a children’s book. She saw the colors of the book and realized it was about her story.
But she was still healing, so she put it in the back of her mind.
Occasionally, her husband would bring it up and in 2019 he asked her, “How are you ever going to know if it’s a God dream if you don’t put your faith into action?”
“With that, I sat down at the computer and began writing my testimony out,” she said.
Partnership
This is where co-author and illustrator Aixa de López came into the picture. She was a fellow church member and the only published author Darby knew. They already had a relationship.
López also has experience with adoption, but from the point of view of the parent. She and her husband adopted two of their four children.
One of López’s adopted children, Darly, is a main character in the book. She “became attached” to Darby and over years of baking cookies and painting their nails, they built a safe relationship.
With both having many of the same questions about their pre-adoption lives, over time, Darby began to slowly share her story with her young friend.
“Whose Am I?” is based on a real conversation that they had while baking cookies in Darby’s kitchen and was used with Darly’s permission.
Though at times difficult to write, especially after first seeing the illustration of her being found in a garbage dump, Darby is no longer ashamed of her story. Plus, with López including a Spanish translation on every page, both English and Spanish readers can benefit from its lessons.
Furthermore, both authors believe the messages from “Whose Am I?” are for any age, whether adopted or not, as it not only explains what earthly adoption is but also highlights heavenly adoption and what it means.
“My original heart was that I found the peace of God and healing through my relationship with Christ. I wanted anyone adopted or any child who experiences abandonment or rejection to know that they have a Heavenly Father who knew them before they were ever formed in their mother’s womb. He set them apart just like He has my life. He’s no respecter of persons.
“He has a plan and purpose for every child’s life, no matter how their lives began.”
Share with others: