A T-ball coach in Oklahoma is sentenced to 12 days in jail for attacking a 15-year-old umpire; police are called to break up a fist-fight between disgruntled parents at a “tinymite” football game in south Alabama; a Chicago high school hockey player is paralyzed as a result of an altercation with an opponent. And perhaps the most shocking story to date — an irate father beat another father to death in front of the man’s children during an argument at a youth hockey game near Boston.
The episodes could be scenes from any action-packed movie that portrays violence as the norm — unfortunately they are all too real.
These scenarios are becoming common place in today’s society — even being given a label — sports rage. It’s a term our grandparents would not have recognized. Today the definition is self-explanatory and sports rage is becoming part of our everyday experiences. Incidents are no longer limited to professional sports. Degrees of severity range from five-year-olds cursing at their opponents to coaches taking swings at referees.
Bad behavior
The tidal wave of bad behavior overflows not only in the secular sports environment but in church-sponsored sports leagues as well.
“I have found some of the worst sports behavior within church leagues and Christian schools,” said Mike Blaylock, a former Christian high school coach and current vice president for institutional development at the University of Mobile.
Blaylock addresses the issue of sports rage — which he categorizes as anger, pride and the lack of self control — in his recently published book, “The Right Way to Win.”
“I address this topic in a chapter for the Christian teen athlete as well as a chapter for parents,” he said.
“In my opinion athletics is the last place that Christians have learned to apply their faith. I’ve seen some of the godliest people I know turn into the wildest creatures during athletic competitions including church leagues. I think it’s because we haven’t put enough emphasis on our faith and God’s Word in relation to athletics. Some people think it’s O.K. to be something different on the athletic field. Our faith should permeate everything we do — including athletics,” said Blaylock, a former little league coach.
Jeremiah Castille, a former University of Alabama football player during the ‘Bear’ Bryant era whose NFL career included stints with two national teams, has seen sports rage in a variety of different settings — as a college and professional player, as a coach and as a parent.
Currently Castille, the father of six, is an assistant coach at Briarwood Christian High School in Birmingham and his sentiments on sports rage from a coach’s perspective are simple.
“We absolutely will not tolerate it,” said Castille, a member of The Church at Brookhills, Birmingham. “There are no exceptions. We are a Christian school and we teach self control. If an athlete can’t control himself, he will not play,” he explained. The ordained minister reflects on the role that society has played in the sports rage phenomenon.
“The strong morals that we had in our culture are being stripped away,” he noted. “Today’s society has moved away from Judeo Christian principles. Values and morals are being removed from our secular schools and we are starting to see the results of this mistake. Sports rage is just one of numerous examples,” he said.
“As a Christian athlete my approach to athletics is different from the masses. I want to glorify God through my athletic ability. The world’s view is to glorify the athlete,” Castille said.
Larry Earnest, minister of development for team leagues with the Birmingham Baptist Association, said disciplining players for poor sportsmanship conduct is a role that churches should take seriously.
“Church leagues are certainly not immune to problems with sports rage with both players and parents,” he said, explaining that there are levels of discipline that are followed that depending on the severity of the misconduct, could result in expulsion from a team or league.
The association provides guidelines and rules for appropriate behavior and infractions are reported to him by the game’s score keeper. If there is a problem he will investigate it with the church’s minister of recreation and take appropriate action.
Earnest said that out of the association’s 175 teams, there will usually be around two to three players a year that are kicked off a team for disciplinary reasons.
“If a player cusses twice in a game he gets a technical foul and is asked to leave. If this happens more than twice in a season he is no longer allowed to play,” he said. “We have players, both adult and teens, get mad and start fighting each other.”
Earnest has been overseeing team leagues for 17 years and he believes that part of the problem with team discipline is the lack of respect for officials. “Kids have come to think that it’s O.K. to yell at officials, he said. “Unfortunately we’ve had parents do this as well. Kids learn by example.”
Castille agreed, “Even church- sponsored sports leagues are allowing the philosophy of the secular world to creep into their games. The attitude is ‘win at all costs,’ ” he said.
“When my son was eight years old I pulled him out of little league sports after he finished the season because of the poor examples of behavior he was being exposed to with both coaches and parents,” Castille said. “I witnessed more than one occasion where parents were yelling at coaches and officials and a fight almost occurred.
“In today’s society we love success and we glorify achievers,” Castille said. “We’ve lost our perspective on what’s most important — building character.”
Society offers mixed signals on proper sportsmanship
All the experts agree — today’s youth are getting mixed messages about the lessons to be learned from sports.
“What has happened to the idea that sports is about teaching the finest and truest principles of life? That used to be the point of athletics. Sports today has gone in the completely opposite direction. Athletic competition now demonstrates and teaches the ugliest and worst principles of life,” said Mike Blaylock, a longtime activist with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes Association.
Blaylock, who recently wrote a book for Christian athletes entitled, “The Right Way to Win,” points out the negative messages that go hand-in-hand with today’s sports mentality. He cites the new mantras as being: win at all cost; if someone hits you, hit him back; it is what the sport does for you, not what you do for the sport; if you do poorly, it is someone else’s fault, such as the coach or referee; gripe about everything; he who talks the best trash looks the best; you are worthless if you do not win.
“Somewhere we drifted far away from the idea of using athletics to prepare our children for true success in life,” Blaylock said. “I’m afraid that much of the responsibility for this falls on the shoulders of parents. In spite of all of the talk about pro athletes being role models and the powerful influence of the media in the lives of kids, experts still tell us that parents have more influence on their children’s attitudes and actions than anyone else,” the vice president of institutional development at the University of Mobile said.
Jeremiah Castille, a former NFL player with the Denver Broncos and Tampa Bay Buccaneers and current Birmingham high school coach shares Blaylock’s sentiments.
“Sports can be a wonderful tool for children by teaching them valuable lessons like sacrifice, putting others first, getting along with others and the importance of team effort,” Castille said. “As parents today, we need to focus on character building, not winning the games at all costs,” he emphasized.
A 1999 Time magazine article on children’s sports mentioned a hockey parent in suburban Washington who ran up to his son after an unexpected loss and raged at him. The father is quoted as saying, ”I’m very, very disappointed. The story quotes the boy’s reply as, “Yeah, Mom’s gonna chew me out too.”
Jim Sundberg, a 16-year Major League baseball player with the Kansas City Royals, teamed up with his wife, Janet, to write “How to Win at Sports Parenting” — an instructional book of sorts that teaches parents effective parenting skills for youth sports.
“Parents can do themselves — and their children — a favor by keeping sports in perspective,” said Sundberg. “Probably one of the biggest mistakes that parents make is over-management and over-involvement in their child’s athletics. It takes the fun out of the sport for the child,” he said.
His wife added, “Part of keeping the game in perspective is realizing that rules of etiquette and good sportsmanship apply to the sidelines as well as the playing field. Parents should avoid getting into conflict with other parents at all costs,” she advises.
The Sundbergs also caution parents against appearing upset, frustrated or disappointed with a child’s performance.
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