By Editor Bob Terry
If you live in the southern half of Alabama, you may not know that May is the middle of the Decoration Day season. Even some in the metropolitan areas of north Alabama don’t know about this important time of the year.
To many, Decoration Day is equivalent to Memorial Day. Not so. Memorial Day began in 1868 when the wife of Union Gen. John A. Logan complained that the graves of Union soldiers were neglected. Logan, then commander in chief of the fraternal veterans organization the Grand Army of the Republic, ordered his comrades to clear and decorate the graves of those who had fallen in battle.
But before Logan issued his historic decree on May 5, 1868, Southerners in the upland South and across the Appalachians were already celebrating Decoration Day, according to Alan Jabbour, retired director of the Library of Congress’ American Folklife Center.
The tradition continues today, especially in the northern part of the state and from the Carolinas to the edge of the Great Plains. Decoration Day is not about honoring those who gave their lives for our nation, though these fallen heroes deserve all the honors bestowed on them.
Decoration Day is a time to remember all of those who have died. It is like the Mexican celebration known as Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead. It is not a time of mourning or of telling ghost stories. It is a time of fond remembrance and a time of affirming faith in life beyond the grave.
Decoration Day is associated with hard work and with celebration. In many country cemeteries, graves have to be cleaned. Hoes, shovels and weed eaters are common sights in the days leading up to Decoration Day. Families believe graves have to look their best, even if that means scrubbing a whole year’s worth of grime off the tombstones.
The celebration comes on the Sunday designated as Decoration Day. In the cemetery where my father’s family is buried, it is the first Sunday of May. Where my mother’s family is buried, it is the second Sunday of May. Where my parents are buried, Decoration Day is the first Sunday of June.
My childhood memories of Decoration Day include dinner on the ground literally. A tablecloth was spread across the grass at the edge of the cemetery. There all the family gathered for fried chicken, green beans, potato salad, cake and much more. None of this bought stuff, either. It was all homemade.
Decoration Day was a time when the extended family returned home. More relatives came for that weekend than we saw at Christmas. Decoration Day was a reminder that we belonged to each other even though we lived in different communities, even different states. We were still family. The cemetery reminded us that we stood in a line of family members who had gone before and that, in time, we would be joining them in death.
We paid respect to the departed with brightly colored flowers that were placed on their graves. You have never seen more color than on the Sunday afternoon of Decoration Day after all the graves have been adorned with flowers. I still enjoy the spectacular scene of the colors blended together as viewed from the edge of the cemetery.
We told stories about experiences with those who died. Sometimes we laughed a lot. Sometimes silence was the only appropriate reaction. In it all, we celebrated memories of departed family members and their contributions to our lives. Talking about those who died was a healing time. Their importance was affirmed as we gave voice to our memories.
Most of the country cemeteries are connected to churches. At those of my experience, there was usually a preacher who reminded us of the eternal hope we have as Christians because of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Because Jesus lives, those who believe in Him shall live, even if they die. That is what Jesus said in John 11:25, and that is what we heard over and over again.
Some people think the idea of Decoration Day is “quaint.” They see it as some lingering vestige from the past that will soon pass. Perhaps. There is not as much visiting at the cemeteries now as there used to be. But ask a pastor in the area about attendance during May and early June, and you will learn that for a great number of people, Decoration Day is a major commitment. People are going to visit their family cemetery on Decoration Day.
Some people see Decoration Day as morbid. Remembering the dead is something they do not want to do. That is one reason that in many parts of the United States, funerals are being abandoned. Direct disposal services are the hottest trend in the burial industry. When one dies, there is no remembrance service of any type. The body is buried and the family attempts to go on as if nothing happened.
How tragic. Most cultures embrace national days of remembrance like Mexico’s Day of the Dead or China’s All Souls Day. But in the United States, we increasingly act as if nothing has happened when one dies, as if not thinking about the one who died will take away the pain. It doesn’t work like that. Honoring memories is a step toward healing. That is true in the immediate aftermath of death, and it is true years later.
In Hebrews 12, the writer reminds Christians that they are surrounded by “so great a cloud of witnesses.”
Remembering that one is surrounded by great Christians of the past is supposed to encourage and strengthen the reader for living the Christian life, even in the face of opposition.
The same principle holds true in living day to day. Remembering that we are surrounded by memories of loved ones who loved us and invested in us is encouraging. It is good to acknowledge those relationships that memories keep alive.
Our ancestors recognized this value. That is why they practiced Decoration Day in the first place. We hope that those of us living today will find ways to keep this value alive.
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