Conflict is a nasty word among Baptists. Legion are the churches which have been scarred by conflict. It is said of Baptists that we start more churches as a result of conflict than we start out of obedience to the Great Commission of our Lord. Sometimes that observation seems accurate.
The lives that have been hurt by conflict within the church are countless. Many people continue faithful service through the church but are hampered by wounds suffered in church disagreements. Others consider their wounds so deep and so painful they are unable to work and worship in a corporate church setting. Too often such people are lost to the Lord’s service.
How tragic — the representative body of Christ on Earth caught up in conflict, and brothers and sisters in the Lord wounding and being wounded by one another. It is no wonder the notion abounds that conflict is bad and should be avoided at all costs.
Yet, Christian author Paul Tournier noted, “It is not possible for people to work together in a common task without there being difference of opinion, conflict, jealousy and bitterness.” Tournier continued by pointing out that Christians are less willing to acknowledge conflict because we are taught to be forgiving and charitable. The result, he wrote, is that disagreements and conflict are repressed until anxiety builds to an exploding point.
If conflict is inevitable, then perhaps Baptists would do well to learn more about conflict and how to conduct themselves during times of disagreement. One writer noted that any time two people disagree, even if they do it gracefully, there is conflict. This is far different from the bitter, mean-
spirited conduct and comments of some. This latter kind of conflict says more about the personal agendas of the combatants than it does about the general nature of conflict.
If the definition of conflict as “two people disagreeing” is accepted, then some benefits of conflict are obvious. For example, issues get explored more fully. Unless questions are asked, evaluation does not take place.
Businesses have known this for years. Because something worked yesterday does not mean it will work today. Growing businesses encourage regular and thorough internal questioning of what they are doing.
In this light, questions are not a sign of ill health or distrust. Questions help clarify issues, evaluate possibilities and determine desired results. That is true for businesses, and it is true for churches.
Two people disagreeing — the definition of conflict given above — can also result in better decisions. More than one church has learned the hard way that the cheapest price does not always mean the best buy. Yet, churches notoriously accept the cheapest bid without questioning if the product will do all the jobs envisioned for it.
Sometimes churches buy hardware from one vendor and service from another. When problems arise, each vendor blames the other and the church is stuck without the resources it needs or expects. These situations could be avoided with thorough questioning.
When one expects decisions to be routinely approved without serious questions or disagreements, the human tendency is not to get all the answers necessary to make the best decisions. Thus, conflict can result in helping a church make better decisions.
One of the principles of Baptist congregational polity is that people need to be involved in the decision-making process. We know that commitment to a decision usually results from understanding the issues involved and participating in the decision process. Again, that means questions. It may mean disagreements, but the tension can be positive because it results in more people helping to make the final decision.
Conversely, when people are not free to ask questions — even probing questions — or to raise objections, they are less likely to be committed to the decision reached. That may be one reason churches approve some new program or venture but never support it.
Asking questions, challenging, even changing recommendations can be a positive thing for the church. Unfortunately, this kind of low-level conflict is often avoided because of fear that it will escalate into high-level, intense conflict, the destructive kind so frequently witnessed in Baptist life.
It does not have to. Churches have the right to set rules for disagreements. And no member has the right to act unseemly or in unchristian ways. Personal attacks, power plays and talking about people behind their backs are always out of order.
The bottom line is this: Two people disagreeing about an issue does not have to be a threat to a church. It can be a healthy opportunity for the body of Christ. Whether it is will depend on how graciously the individuals and the church conduct themselves in the process.
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