Matthew 7:1–5; James 4:1–3, 6–12

Bible Studies for Life
Director, Extension Division, Beeson Divinity School, Samford University

Accept Responsibility
Matthew 7:1–5; James 4:1–3, 6–12
So often, when we find ourselves in situations of conflict, we tend to cast blame elsewhere for our actions and decisions. We frequently focus on how others have behaved to justify our response. Taking this approach usually just extends or, even worse, escalates the clash, however. When this happens, the result is never positive and never honors God. But there is a way to turn things around, and Holy Scripture offers the solution — it just has to be followed.

Evaluate Yourself (Matt. 7:1–5)
During the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tackles the issue of “judging.” Don’t judge others, he says, or you are subject to be judged in the same manner and by the same rules. Christ questions why anyone would waste time pointing out flaws in the lives of others and not their own failings. He explains that only when one can resolve all of his or her own issues, will he or she then have the credibility to address the sins of another.

Recognize Conflict’s Source (James 4:1–3)
The source of every conflict and quarrel, James shares, is ourselves. We fight, he explains, because of evil desires that are warring within us — that tell us that we are not getting what we want, what we need. When the hunger for more — more possessions, status, wealth and recognition — overtakes us, we become willing to brawl with others to satisfy that need. James instructs us to ask God for the things that are important. And if we don’t get what we asked for, it is because we are asking for the wrong things and making requests of Him with wrong motives.

Submit to God (James 4:6–12)
James continues admonishing believers to resolve these battles by submitting to, drawing near to and humbling themselves before God. He teaches that if we will resist the devil, he will flee from us and God will provide the support we need to stay strong. Speaking against one another, according to James, is on the same level as judging God’s Law — something believers have no authority to do. There is only one Judge, he explains, God, the one who is able to “save and destroy.”

These are pretty convicting passages for many of us to read. If we are in the midst of or continually find ourselves in conflict, the finger of blame has to be pointed directly at ourselves — and we don’t like that. Jesus and James deal with this issue pretty clearly when they direct us to examine ourselves before blaming and judging the attitudes and actions of others. The big problem with this is that it is hard for many of us to put into practice.

By and large, we are a selfish, self-centered and envious people. We want what we want when we want it and believe we are entitled to it. We always want to be right and can’t stand to be wrong. As a result, we stake out our position and attack others to make ourselves look powerful. If we’ll admit it, however, inwardly we’re terrified of being seen by others as weak, foolish or lacking experience.

And so, all of these flaws — which are part of the package that comes with being an imperfect vessel — combine to create in many of us an unclean and ugly heart willing to fight in order to maintain a façade. And the resulting problem is then finding a way to end the quarrel once it has begun.

What is Jesus’ answer? Don’t start. If you count yourself a “God follower,” He says, take a good, long, honest look at your own life before criticizing others. If, after this self-analysis, we are able to “clean up” our own faults, then we might be able to look upon another’s failings — but we will not be able to.

And that’s the point. Everyone is broken. We all have weaknesses and it takes everything that we can do with the help of the Holy Spirit just to keep ourselves “in check.”

As simple as it sounds, James explains that if we’ll maintain a close relationship to God, spend time in prayer and study and meditate on the Word, we won’t start or maintain silly fights. And, as believers, if we no longer busy ourselves by engaging in pointless conflicts over ridiculous and indefensible positions, imagine how much more glorifying and useful we can be to our heavenly Father.