The young husband was careless. He jumped from behind the steering wheel almost before the car came to a stop. With his right hand, he pushed the driver’s door closed, but in that instance, he remembered the envelope from the bank he had stuck behind the sun visor. Instinctively he reached back. He should not have.
Instead of catching the car door, the door caught him. His hand was smashed between the force of a hammerlike swinging door and the anvillike body of the car. Only his fingers moved as the two forces met.
The next few moments were filled with cries of pain, with frantic actions to open the door, with efforts to get blood back into his fingers, with shock at how rapidly the leaking blood discolored his fingernails and how quickly the fingers swelled.
Two days later, the aching pain had subsided. He had no broken bones, only a deep bruise, but the fingers were still tender, especially where the blood had pooled near the end of the fingers.
This time, it was the young wife who was careless. After dinner, they were watching television when she absent-mindedly reached over and squeezed his swollen fingers. Immediately the air was filled with cries of pain and just as quickly with words of apology as both husband and wife jumped and stared at each another.
What would happen next? For some couples, the next minutes would be filled with accusations and incriminations. "You did that on purpose." "Why don’t you watch what you are doing?" "What is wrong with you?" "Why don’t you believe it was an accident?" "You’re just looking for some way to hurt me." "You never believe anything I say."
The situation could degenerate into charge and countercharge. It could result in emotional pain that persists long after the fingers are well. Emotional distance — even separation — could be the outcome.
Another scenario is also possible. As the couple stare at each other startled by the sudden outburst from pain, the wife could say, "I’m so sorry. I forgot. I was only trying to hold your hand."
The husband could respond with words like, "That is all right. I know it was an accident."
In both cases, the physical pain on the hurt hand is just as real. But in the first, the emotional pain from the encounter that followed is likely to be more severe than the physical pain. In the second scenario, the emotional support is likely to make the pain of the hurting hand fade quickly.
The difference in the two responses is expressed in 1 Peter 4:8. There the apostle Peter wrote, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
Peter’s words do not excuse or permit causing pain. But the words acknowledge that where love is, there is less attention to one’s own being and more attention to others.
The Greek word translated "covers over" is the same word the apostle Paul used in 1 Corinthians 13 when he wrote that love "always protects." Various English-language Bibles translate the word as patiently accepts, is always supportive, bears all things and never gives up.
Obviously when love is present, one is not edgy about one’s rights. One does not walk around looking for some wrong at which to take offense. One does not insist on one’s own way. Such actions and attitudes indicate the absence of love.
Love causes one to overlook offenses. It covers over them. Love patiently accepts. Love bears all things. Love is always supportive. It is this quality of love that permitted the apostle Paul to write that "love is patient" and "love is kind."
The words of the two great apostles were not written to describe love in a nuclear family. Rather both directed their words to the Church. Both sought to help members of the family of faith know how to live with one another. Church members are to deal with one another in love.
The example of this type of love is God’s love expressed in Jesus Christ. God does not look for things from His children at which to take offense. Instead He "never gives up" on us. His love causes God to be patient and kind toward us. His love protects us, even when our actions and attitudes cause Him pain.
Both Peter and Paul pointed to what God has done for us through Jesus Christ and challenged believers to treat others as Christ has treated them. Peter followed up his admonition with examples about how love impacts hospitality, service, even what one says in church.
It is no wonder Christians want this kind of love in their families. Love modeled after God’s self-giving love through Jesus Christ is certainly appropriate for the most intimate human relationships as well as appropriate for life in the church.
Whether it is a couple startled by accidental pain or mothers concerned about the policies of the church nursery or members disagreeing in a committee meeting, each situation is to be characterized by what Peter described as deep love for each other because love covers a multitude of sins.
It even bridges the gap caused by pain to a hurting hand.
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