There was lots of laughter at the Alabama Woman’s Missionary Union-sponsored (WMU) Ministers’ Wives Luncheon, held Feb. 23 during the Evangelism Conference at Vaughn Forest Baptist Church, Montgomery.
The women laughed when Jennifer Landrith talked about being compared to previous ministers’ wives, told stories of receiving “unique advice” and recounted crazy church happenings like someone trying to check a Chihuahua into the nursery for a Sunday morning service.
But only gasps filled the air when Landrith, co-author of “In Our Shoes: Real Life Issues for Ministers’ Wives by Ministers’ Wives,” explained that 50 percent of pastors’ marriages end in divorce, 85 percent of pastors’ wives feel discouraged in their roles and more than 50 percent of pastors’ wives feel their husband entering into ministry was the most destructive thing to ever happen to their families.
“We’re a hurting group of women and we need one another,” said Landrith, wife of David Landrith, senior pastor of Long Hollow Baptist Church, Hendersonville, Tenn.
Depending on what is happening in her life, each woman entered the room wearing a different kind of shoe, she said.
Whether it was a house shoe, running shoe, high heel, combat boot or broken shoe, “sometimes it helps to know you’re not alone,” she said, giving the women four things to keep in mind:
1. Calling — “The most miserable ministers’ wives I’ve ever met are women who are not called to the ministry. … I would urge you if you’re in that group, God is not the author of confusion. Pray for Him to give you clear direction, but remember that just because you’re called to a place, it doesn’t mean you’ll always be happy or it’ll always be easy.”
2. Comparison — “As women and ministers’ wives, we’re challenged to be a part of a comparison game. We want to compare clothes, jewelry, houses, kids, husbands — it’s time for us to put that junk up and share with one another and love one another.”
3. Crazy stuff — “There is some crazy stuff that goes on in ministry. … You’ll encounter things that don’t make sense, but sometimes you have to look at those situations and be discerning about it.”
4. Compassion gauge — “Just like your gas gauge when it’s getting low, when everybody in the church is getting on your nerves or if you hear something and you have no feeling for what they’re going through, then maybe you need to step back and replenish yourself so you don’t get cynical or calloused. God loves people and we’re in the people business.”
Tena Jones, wife of Mike Jones, pastor of Old Providence Baptist Church, Goodwater, said it was comforting to come together with other women and see “there are others going through the same things.”
“In my situation, I’m the only minister’s wife in my church because Mike is the only full-time staff member, so I feel like I’m in my own little desert sometimes. So … it helps to see you’re not alone and you’re not the only one going through it.”
Becky Luther, president of Alabama WMU, added, “We all get discouraged and need to know we aren’t alone.”
Luther said she hopes women take away “that it’s like a sisterhood and there are people there to support them and hold them up every day.”
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