The loss of a loved one and the grief that accompanies the experience is all part of the cycle of life. But for many people, knowing how to comfort the grief-stricken is many times an awkward and uncomfortable experience.
That’s one of the reasons Stephen Ministries was created — to train lay people in developing the appropriate skills necessary in offering effective care for individuals who have suffered the loss of a loved one.
Michael L. Welch, a minister at First Christian Church, Shelbyville, Tenn., spent Feb. 2 talking to 125 people about ministering to those experiencing grief. The seminar, held at Dawson Memorial Baptist Church, Homewood, drew participants from 22 churches representing several denominations. The workshop was designed by St. Louis-based Stephen Ministries, which is a “complete system for training and organizing lay persons to provide one-to-one Christian care in and around their congregations.”
“God envisions every member of every congregation being involved in ministry,” said Welch. “We all can acquire the framework and some understandings that can help us become effective in helping people with their grief.”
Welch pointed out that not all believers think grieving is appropriate for Christians, but “to grieve is not to express a lack of faith in God.” Welch referred to the story of Jesus grieving the death of Lazarus, saying that Scripture “tells us of the investment of Jesus Christ [in Lazarus].” The distinction between believers and nonbelievers in their grief is that Christians have hope.
Scarlett Dunnam, a charter member of 3-year-old Eastview Church, Tuscaloosa, said she sees a need for this type of ministry.
She and her husband, Al, lost a son to AIDS in 1994. “I didn’t feel like we could go to our church,” she said. But that experience has helped her see a need for this type of ministry to help with those who are hurting.
The course was a “good refresher” on dealing with those experiencing grief, said Scott Cole, pastor of West Side Baptist Church, Bessemer. “We need to be conscious of how we treat others,” he said.
Nancy Cagle of Clearview Baptist Church, Pinson, agreed. While her church doesn’t have any kind of organized care ministry, the Stephen Ministry “appears to be a really good way to get lay people equipped for caring for others,” said Cagle, a volunteer for Baptist Medical Center Apartments that helps the critically ill. One of the points she said she hadn’t thought about before was putting the emphasis on the griever.
Neal Schooley, associate pastor at Dawson Memorial, was excited about the turnout.
“There were more people than we expected,” he said. Dawson Memorial began using the Stephen Ministries system in 1993, he noted.
For more information about the Stephen Series, visit www.stephenministries.org or call 314-428-2600.
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