Thank you, Bob Terry, for the wonderful article you wrote recently in The Alabama Baptist concerning the death of your beloved Eleanor. It gave me hope. To read about your journey, I am sure, helped many who have walked the same path.
Thank you, readers, for the cards and letters I have received and yes even flowers and books.
These four months seem like an eternity since my husband and best friend passed away. And I know for many of you who have shared your love for this man with me. The days have been long. So many college students have written who were in our church when Bob served at First Baptist Church, Opelika. I knew he touched the lives of many, but what a blessing it has been to see it in the form of letters from your heart. “Thank you” seems so trite. You just have to know of my love for each of you.
‘How are you?’
“How are you doing?” This is the question posed to me often and thus I write about God and how He has offered hope to me, carried me through the dark valley of grief.
Reading has been a source of comfort. And if one would look closely, there is the book “My Utmost for His Highest,” by Oswald Chambers and my Bible.
So, I have made it four months, walking into the unknown as I learn from those who experienced the same thing years ago. I am new in this growth experience. We all are different, and we handle everything in life in our own way. I decided I could stay where I was in my spiritual walk, go backward or reach out through the pain to know God more, even though I had lost someone who was so significant in my life.
I have learned to say, “Why do this?” It only makes my body ache. Get up and go do something for someone else. I do, but I thank God for tears, the release that is there.
I have found such strength at Farmville with the wonderful people who were stunned and hurt.
By trying to help them, I have helped myself. In their eyes I see love, and that goes a long way.
My family has sustained me beyond words. As I try to help them, again I help myself. My first big breakthrough came when I faced acceptance of my feelings. I stopped praying not to hurt, not to feel pain, but to know this had to be. It is a part of the grieving process. Instead, as I read my Bible and “My Utmost for His Highest” I prayed to know more of God. In my lowest moments I felt a peace in knowing I was normal and that some form of joy would come in the morning.
I have made myself do things and go places. For me, this is good. There is great comfort in being with people, and yet where once I ran from the walls of this house, now I find a sense of peace and security.
So “How am I doing?” Better, and thank God for this and many of you who have been there for me. As I move further and further along I have more of a desire to help you. A beautiful letter came this week from a dedicated pastor. I care and thank you for telling me what my articles have meant to you. Yes, I do admit I have hurt, I have cried, I have walked, I have gone out of town more than usual. I have gotten in my car and driven to be away from the house. I am still in the midst of it all, but I am better, and I give you hope. God never leaves us. And if you hurt for me, just say a prayer and thank God for the provisions He makes. He lifts us up when we cannot walk. He shows us truth when there seems to be none. He gives us strength in the areas we did not even know we could function.
God is going to use what has happened for His good. I find joy in knowing I am part of it.
Supernatural strength is what it is all about. I am going to make it, for I am determined. God puts that determination in me. I can hear my dear husband encouraging me as he always did.
“Go Betty, I know you can do it. I’m praying for you. You will make it.”
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