Marriage often is compared to endurance athletic events and for good reason. Failure to prepare well for either can lead to problems but both are enjoyable when the right investments of time and energy are made by the participants.
Couples who are looking forward to their upcoming wedding day can invest in their future by participating in premarital counseling with a trained professional counselor or clergyman. Just as a good coach can help an athlete improve his or her performance, premarital counseling can prepare a couple for a happier marriage. Talk about a win-win for your marriage.
Premarital counseling is the best way an engaged couple can prepare for one of the biggest and most significant parts of their adult lives. The wedding day is a wonderful day but a marriage is for a lifetime. If you are engaged then premarital counseling can help you learn or improve your skills for relating to the person who will become the most intimate person in your life.
Simply put, premarital counseling can help you be the best spouse you can be. Through premarital counseling you can intentionally begin practicing for a lifetime of being nice to one another — and please don’t underestimate that last statement. Research shows that couples who invest in sound premarital counseling have increased marital satisfaction while simultaneously lowering their risk for divorce.
Good premarital counseling involves reviewing, examining and studying the biblical roles of a godly husband and wife. In addition premarital counseling allows a couple to:
-Learn effective relationship skills in order to relate to their soon-to-be spouse in areas such as communication, conflict management/resolution and financial management.
4Safely express their expectations for their lives together in areas such as intimacy and sexuality; parenting; relationship roles and responsibilities; involvement with friends and extended family; spiritual beliefs; leisure activities; holidays; special occasions and other areas of potential conflict.
-Receive feedback regarding their relationship strengths and growth areas with the aforementioned issues.
-Reflect on their families of origin and how those might influence their marriage.
-Better understand how they can use their individual personalities and their relationship dynamics to their advantage in building a strong marriage.
Relationship inventory
Recently married couples who did not have access to quality premarital counseling also can take steps to help their marriages. One option is PREPARE/ENRICH, a relationship inventory and skill-building program that helps prepare engaged couples for their upcoming marriages and helps already married couples strengthen and grow their existing marriages. To find a PREPARE/ENRICH counselor near you, visit www.prepare-enrich.com.
Couples already married also can nurture their relationship in other ways. The following activities can benefit married couples of any age:
-Find an older Christian couple with a solid marriage who can mentor you and model healthy marital relationship habits and styles. Talk to them about what helps their marriage stay committed and strong. Spend time with them at least two or three times a year if not more. We become like those we are around most.
-Get involved in a biblically sound Sunday School class for couples. You all will benefit from sharing your joys, struggles and triumphs with others in similar life stages.
-Take a marital assessment on the website www.couplecheckup.org and receive feedback about the strengths and growth areas of your relationship. You also can download worksheets from this site to work on growth areas of your relationship.
-Go for marriage therapy even after your wedding. A couple does not have to be experiencing marital woes to benefit from counseling.
Married couples spend lots of money on homes, cars and other possessions, not to mention maintenance on all those possessions. Isn’t a lifetime of increased marital satisfaction worth the same effort and investment?
If you are engaged to be married, then I challenge you to invest at least six hours in quality premarital counseling before tying the knot and setting up housekeeping. If you are already married, then I invite you to spend a few hours in counseling to enhance your marriage relationship. In either case your relationship will benefit in the long run.
Editor’s Note — Larry Daniels is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a licensed professional counselor with Pathways Professional Counseling, a ministry of the Alabama Baptist Children’s Homes & Family Ministries. He serves offices in Mobile, Flomaton and Chatom. He is a PREPARE-ENRICH facilitator and trains other professional counselors and clergy to become facilitators of PREPARE-ENRICH. To contact Daniels, email ldaniels@pathwaysprofessional.org.
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