Any listing for John Croyle’s family would most likely put the number at four – Croyle, his wife Teresa, and their two children, Reagan, 21, and Brodie, 17. But the former University of Alabama football player has also been an influence in the lives of others who have seen tough times, devoting his life to making a difference in their lives.
The founder and executive director of the Big Oak ranches in Gadsden and Springville, Croyle said 1,400 children have stayed with him since the first facility opened in 1974. The success of his efforts working with those youth has been publicized nationally.
While Croyle has had an untold influence on the lives of the troubled youth who have come through his doors, his biological children will always come first.
“The problem with preacher’s kids – preacher’s kids hate God,” said Croyle, who attends Meadow Brook Baptist Church, Gadsden, with his family.
Croyle said he has been cautious to avoid a mistake he believes some people in the ministry often make – placing more of a priority on their congregation than their family.
Kids come first
“I’ve been through that just like everybody else, but there’s one thing that my children know that I love them,” Croyle said.
“If I’m on the phone and they call me, it doesn’t matter who it is, ‘I’ll say, can you hold just a minutes?’ and I go catch that phone call,” he said.
Croyle said he learned the importance of putting family first from legendary Alabama Football Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant.
He recalls having a conversation with Bryant about the ranch when the coach’s secretary came in and told him Roone Arledge, president of ABC Sports, comedian Bob Hope and Vice President Spiro Agnew were on the telephone waiting to speak with him. Croyle still remembers how good he felt when Bryant told the secretary to have them wait, and he would be with them in a few minutes.
“I was some dumb sophomore talking about this dream and “he’s telling me I’m more important to him than they are,” Croyle said.
“I wasn’t, but at that moment he made me think I was more important, Croyle said, “And in reality, I was more important because he told them to wait and he talked to them.
The lesson stuck with Croyle when it came to his biological family.
“It taught me something-that I have got to do that with my wife and children,” he said.
Bragging on her husband, Teresa and both of their children are athletic, and John places a priority on attending their athletic events.
“That’s the first thing that goes in his book,” she said. “No matter how long he’s been gone or how tired he is, he spends time with the kids.”
Croyle said he knows he is not perfect and sometimes fails. But he always strives to put his family first.
“I have made mistakes in that arena, with all three of them,” he confesses, “but it’s not mistakes that I continue to do.”
Obviously, Croyle puts God first. After that, he said the order includes his wife second followed by his children and job (children at the ranch) -with everything else in fifth place.
“There’s times when I’ve walked out in the yard to play pitch with my daughter or my son and here comes 10 kids to play with us,” Croyle said. “But there’s been times that I wanted to play with them privately, alone, we would have to leave the ranch and go somewhere else to play.”
Croyle said it is also important he has a family who can see the real John Croyle.
“To many people, I’m this, that and the other thing,” Croyle said, “(But) my wife knows what my insecurities are and my children (do too).”
“My children have watched me and my wife for all these years, and they know our warts,” he said.
Teresa said it is important that she and the children support him, “As much as John’s been there for us, we have been there for him too,” she said.
Being there includes encouraging Croyle and working to lift his spirits when he is discouraged, Teresa said.
The children who have come through the ranches’ doors have seen abuse many could never fathom. The luckier ones have endured years of mental and physical abuse, while others have been sexually abused – often by parents of the same sex.
Providing haven
Croyle said he has three purposes when children are brought to one of the ranches. Along with giving them a safe place to live and teaching them about Christ, he said it is also important to make them feel good about themselves.
“We’ve got to build their confidence,” Croyle said. “yes, it’s important for them to know Jesus Christ – absolutely, that’s a no-brainer.
“But it is real close that we break the cycle (of abuse),” he said. “And real close behind that is we prepare them for life.”
For Croyle, the challenge is the same both for raising his children and helping youth at the ranch recover. He said when a child is born, a suitcase pops open in their heart and parents start packing their child’s bags.
“The tough part is, sometimes our children that we get at Big Oak Ranch, their bags do not have proper things packed in the bag for the journey called life,” he said.
Croyle said the suitcase begins to close as they get older, with him working to make sure the luggage is replaced with the right things youth need in life.
Brodie will begin college in January, with Croyle estimating he has a little less than 300 days to pack his son’s bags.
“And then he leaves and I’m through (packing his bags),” he said.
Teresa said the challenge can be “overwhelming,” but the couple has never regretted their work.
“I can honestly say there’s never been a time when we wished that we had ever done anything else,” she said.
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