A Mother’s Work Is Never Done

The old adage about “a mother’s work is never done” seems to be reflected in one of the Ten Commandments.
Exodus 20 records God saying, “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.  Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male or your female servant or your cattle or the sojourner who stays with you.”

The list seems complete until one realizes that no mention is made of mothers. Perhaps that is because God understood that the role of mothering has no break periods. A mother is there when the baby coos and laughs. She is there when the child cries incessantly. A mother is there helping the child prepare for that first day of school. She is there to salve the emotional bumps and bruises as well as the physical scrapes and scars.

A mother is there at every stage of life helping with all the 101 little things that make life possible. She is there for the major moments when values are set and directions determined. Such times are not determined by the clock. A mother is always a ready resource. Her work is never done.

The normal work week in the United States is 40 hours. Some people work more, as much as 60 or 70 or even 80 hours a week. Those who do, usually work such hours only for a short time. If one continues such hours, work takes a toll physically, mentally and emotionally. Sometimes this is called “burnout.”

What about mothers? How many hours do they work a week? One of the best indicators is a study done by Chase Manhattan Bank a few years ago.  The focus of the study was on the work done by full-time housewives and the economic value of those efforts.

Researchers were surprised that the average housewife worked 99.6 hours per week doing at least 12 different jobs in the home. Those tasks ranged from cook to dishwasher to nurse.  Housewives did these tasks week in and week out, year after year after year. Even when the family took a vacation, the housewife’s work continued, because she was the one expected to facilitate the experience and care for all the other family members during the vacation.

Add to the hours devoted to defined tasks, the time spent by mothers listening, loving, hugging, encouraging and praying for their children. One sees again that “a mother’s work is never done.”

What are they paid for such efforts? Former Southern Baptist seminary professor John Drakeford relates a story that provides insight to a possible answer. It is in the form of a children’s sermon.

“It seems 9-year-old Tommy needed money and hit upon the idea of seeking payment for the work he did around the house. So he made a list of all the chores to which he put his hands and then totaled the amount he felt he should be paid.  He left his document in an envelope addressed to his mother.

“Tommy’s mother, having tucked her offspring into bed after a long and tiring day, sat down to read the detailed accounting of the money she owed her son. Then she went to work preparing a list of her own. The following morning Tommy picked up the listing left by his mother for him and read the detailed statement of all the work his mother had done on his behalf. Then at the bottom line where Tommy had placed his dollars and cents figure, she had written, ‘A mother’s love.’”

Mothers are not paid in dollars and cents. They are paid in love accepted and love returned. They are paid in consideration, cooperation and appreciation. They are paid in lives well lived by their children.

To rephrase an observation made by one writer, a mother’s goal is not to become a person on which her children lean. The goal is to help her children become such persons that leaning is unnecessary.

Still mothers have rights, too. Drakeford points out such things as “she should be able to enjoy the right to sit and eat a meal without having to jump up and be the unpaid waitress.

“She has the right to expect that members of the family will share the domestic chores. This means each individual being responsible for his own personal belongings, looking after them and keeping them tidy.

“She has the right to expect family members to be considerate about being on time for meals and letting her know if they will be late or unable to be present.

“She has the right to some time which she can spend on interest of her own, something entirely outside the home and apart from the affairs of the household.”

This Mother’s Day, mothers will be honored with flowers and candy and a special meal. That is good. Mothers deserve it. But the sentimentality of one day is not enough to say “thank you” to mothers whose work is never done.

Remembering their rights, honoring them, cooperating with them the other 364 days of the year is a far better tribute to mothers.