Oxymoron, paradox, contradiction — whatever you might call it, pride and humility don’t go together.
These terms draw to mind the prayers of the Pharisees in Matthew 23:14: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows’ houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.”
Yet pride and humility — and what I call “prideful humility” — still exists in today’s world. My husband and I experienced this early in ministry.
Testing
We arrived at our first pastorate after seminary. I have since learned there is always at least one member self-assigned to test the fiber of the new pastor. On our first Saturday on the field, worn-out from the move and settling in, we looked forward to sleeping in and enjoying my husband’s designated day off.
The phone rang at about 7 a.m. “You up and ready to go?” asked the cheery voice. “I go every Saturday and take food to the homeless under the interstate bridge and just knew our new pastor would want to join me in this ministry.”
This continued with the deacon inviting my husband to other such unusual ministries, always on Saturday morning. What was my husband, a young minister at his first full-time church to do but to go? He knew he would be judged by this holier-than-thou deacon and the news would spread throughout the congregation that the new pastor was lazy and not interested in service if he refused. So he continued to go. One Saturday, the deacon took him deep into the woods to a small lean-to. The man said, “This guy is a hermit and won’t come out, so I just leave this bag of food, and he gets it later.”
Leadership challenges
The deacon’s quest of ministry sounds noble; he thought so too, so he shared what he and my husband had done at deacon meetings. He then upbraided the others for not doing likewise.
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall” (Prov. 16:18).
He told the other deacons and my husband that they would meet in one of the Sunday School rooms every Sunday to pray for the preacher. He instructed that each deacon would pray in turn with him closing the prayer. Some stood, some knelt, but this guy stretched out prostrate on the floor.
When his turn came, he prayed briefly for the pastor, recounted the good deeds he had been responsible for that week, prayed for a closer spiritual walk for the other deacons and always closed his prayer by saying, “Lord, help these other men be as humble as I am.” Prideful humility at its worst. Then my husband had to prepare his mind to preach after that display.
When I think of this man and his self-glorifying antics, I am reminded of Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:5–6:
“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”
And I’m reminded again that while pride and humility don’t go together, a humble spirit pleases the Lord.
“By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, and honor and life” (Prov. 22:4).
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