By Kenneth B.E. Roxburgh, Ph.D.
Professor of Religion, Samford University
Forge True Friendship
1 Samuel 18:1–4; 19:4–7; 20:10–13
The phenomenon of Facebook has both enhanced and diminished the importance of friendship in people’s lives. People speak of having 300 or 2,000 friends. But for many people who invest time and energy in Facebook, the vast majority of their “friends” are people they may have never and will never meet. Friendship in biblical terms is something which we forge in daily living.
Strong friends exhibit selflessness. (18:1–4)
The relationship of friendship between David and Jonathan is described as covenantal — they made a covenant with each other. A covenant is different from a contract. It is not a legal agreement but it is a commitment made between two people, which includes promises and obligations, selflessness and sacrifice. It is rooted in the nature of God’s love for sinful humanity as God makes various covenants with Adam, Noah, Moses and even David.
It is this covenant which is the foundation of all friendships and comes to its fulfilment in the covenant which Jesus made with His people, signed and sealed with the blood which He shed on Calvary’s cross. This covenant is one of faithfulness, filled with promises, assuring us that His selfless and steadfast love will never let us go or give up on us even when we fail Him.
The bond of friendship which is described in these verses is described as one in which Jonathan loved David as his own soul. This love led him to give David the robe he was wearing as a token of his affection and his armor and weapons so David would be prepared for any attack which came upon him. This is a friendship which is thoughtful about specific needs and opens itself up to danger and discomfort.
Strong friends serve as advocates for each other. (19:4–7)
This second passage comes at a crucial period in David’s life when Saul is plotting against him. Jonathan acts as an advocate before his father, urging him not to harm his friend and indicating that David has never done anything to harm Saul. This act brought David back into the court of the king and for a period of time protected him from harm.
The New Testament speaks of how, when we sin we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ who died for us on the cross and lives in the presence of the Father in heaven praying for us, interceding for us, seeking the blessing of the Father on our lives.
In a similar way we are called to act in specific ways as advocates, to speak up for friends in distress and bring comfort and security into their situations.
Strong friends maintain and fulfill their commitment to each other. (20:10–13)
The final picture which we have in this section of 1 Samuel tells of how Jonathan will send word to David to let him know if he is in danger of being hunted down by Saul. In a very practical way it reminds us that friendship is demonstrated by both small and large acts of kindness, thoughtfulness and generosity to people in need. Jonathan never forgets the covenant relationship he made with David and he never gave up thinking about him and looking for ways to help him in his life.
Yet in the midst of life when human friends may fail us, we can say:
“What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and griefs to bear,
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer.”
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