Seven years into their infertility journey, Mary Leah and Rodney Miller had come to a crossroads. The most recent of several attempts to achieve pregnancy through in vitro fertilization had failed, and any hope of a future attempt, they had been told, would likely produce the same results.
“Unfortunately, our genetic material was not producing viable embryos,” said Mary Leah. “Rodney had asked me to pray about traditional adoption, but I felt like the Lord had impressed upon me that I would be pregnant.”
But considering the circumstances, the Millers, who are members of Christ Fellowship Church in Homewood, were wondering how that would happen. Then they learned about embryo adoption.
“You would think that after walking this journey for so long, we would have been familiar with it,” Mary Leah said. “We found out when some friends told us about some friends of theirs who had been able to have a baby through embryo adoption.”
Intrigued, the Millers reached out to the adopting couple and heard their story, and that’s how they learned about the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program.
“After we hung up the phone with them, we went straight to the Snowflakes website, and for the first time in a long time, we got a new sense of hope and excitement,” Mary Leah said. “Not only was it a new option for starting our family, but it also offered me an opportunity to be pregnant.”
The process
With the belief that life begins at conception, Snowflakes, a division of Nightlight Christian Adoptions, has been offering embryo adoption since 1997.
“We were the first agency ever to offer embryo adoption,” said Beth Button, executive director of Snowflakes. “We pioneered the concept. If people don’t want to keep paying for frozen storage and they’re not comfortable destroying the embryos, then why not donate them to another couple?”
The organization, she said, seeks to provide a life-giving option to couples who have completed their families but have embryos remaining after IVF. It also provides couples dealing with infertility another possibility for fulfilling their dream of having a baby.
Once the Millers decided to go with embryo adoption, they found the process to be relatively simple when compared to a traditional adoption.
“Unlike a traditional adoption, embryo adoption is done by contract, so there were no big legal hurdles to cross,” Rodney said. “Snowflakes required a home study, background checks and financial reports, and we provided information that helped Snowflakes statistically determine how many embryos we should adopt and which embryos they should match to us.”
Potential matches are reviewed by both the placing and adopting families with identifying information redacted. Once both families approve the match and the paperwork is completed, the adoptive parents can proceed with the IVF transfer.
On Dec. 23, 2022, the Millers — parents-in-waiting by then for a decade — became the parents of twins Dalton and Mary Elizabeth. A double dose of joy to their mom and dad, the chatty little pair are alike in terms of strong personalities but different in their overall demeanor.
“Dalton’s smile lights up his whole face; he’s very easy to make laugh,” Rodney said. “Mary Elizabeth is a little more serious, a little more curious, probably a little more type A, but she’s so sweet. She’s a little clingy and requires more attention from us, but they’re both so unique. It’s been interesting to watch them grow.”
Openness
The couple who donated the embryos are watching the Miller children grow from a distance. According to an agreement between the families, the Millers provide updates on and photos of the twins to the placing couple.
“We’ve asked them to let us know if it’s ever too much,” Rodney said. “We try to put ourselves in their shoes. On the one hand, we understand their desire to know that the children are okay and are being loved and cared for. But on the other, we also understand that getting the updates could be difficult.”
Such openness between the families is strongly encouraged by Snowflakes.
“They may never meet in person,” Button began, “but we expect them to have some type of communication at least once a year and for the adoptive parents to share updates. It’s important for the placing parents to have that peace of mind, especially if they consider these embryos to be lives and children who were potentially going to join their family at one time.”
Placing parents also receive updates when a child is born or when an embryo is thawed and doesn’t survive the thawing process.
Advocates
Not surprisingly considering the twin joys it has brought them, the Millers are strong advocates for embryo adoption.
“Our journey brought us closer together and closer to the Lord,” Mary Leah said. “We wouldn’t necessarily call it a regret, but one of those things we wish is that we had known sooner about embryo adoption. There are thousands of embryos out there that were created for a purpose and need a chance at life.”
Rodney wholeheartedly agreed.
“We are convinced that embryo adoption was the Lord’s plan for us,” he said. “It was discouraging and disappointing that it took a decade to have this desire in our hearts for a family, and we would love to have started earlier. I’m 46 and Mary Leah is 42, and we have 17-month-olds. But I can tell you with 100% certainty that we could not love any kids more than the two we have from embryo adoption. It’s just not possible.”
And now the Millers’ double dose of joy is about to double again, having recently learned that Mary Leah is pregnant with a second set of twins.
“We originally adopted five embryos and transferred two the first time and two back in February,” Rodney said. “Now we’ll soon have four kids under the age of 2.”
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