Jill Duggar, one of the daughters of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar in the TLC series “19 Kids and Counting” and “Jill and Jessa: Counting On,” reveals her experience of growing up in an ultra-conservative family in her September 2023 release, “Counting the Cost: A Memoir,” written with her husband, Derick Dillard, along with and Craig Borlase.
Duggar discusses how growing up as a fundamental evangelical had both positives and negatives. Sometimes the dogma and rules were taken too far. However, even after growing up with a model of blatant misuse of God-given authority, she has learned that relationships can continue through the power of forgiveness in addition to having boundaries.
Though it could be considered a “tell-all,” Duggar doesn’t degrade her parents and their church affiliation.
She simply tells her perspective of the episodes’ backstories during their total of 21 seasons and 18 specials — including how her parents helped cover up the abuse by her brother, Joshua Duggar, and explaining the battle over getting back pay for her work on the show after being told by her parents that they were doing it as a volunteer ministry.
Even though there were many negative experiences Duggar lived through, the main takeaway from “Counting the Cost” is how she managed to forgive while simultaneously learning the difference between religion and its rules and a true relationship with God.
After sharing all that she had been through, Duggar says she is still grateful for her flawed upbringing, saying, “But I am also realistic. There is much that I can look back on and smile, but I picked up some wounds along the way.
“It’s like roses and thorns, justice and grace. You can recognize the beauty and happy parts of your story while also recognizing the more difficult parts. The two can coexist. The highs aren’t automatically erased or invalidated by the lows.”
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