Building relationships, teaching children intentionally can guide them toward God

Every children’s worker dreams of the day that child looks up at them in Sunday School and asks about his or her need for a Savior. But it can take prayer and effort to bring them to that point and then to lead children to salvation once they’re there, Baptist leaders say.

So what are the best ways to guide your church’s children toward a salvation experience?

Leaders offer these tips:

• Look for opportunities to discuss the gospel that are more natural than contrived.
• Keep the leadership consistent.
• Help children develop strong relationships with good communication.
• Be ready for spiritual questions.
• But when spiritual questions do come up, don’t jump to conclusions.

“A child may ask, ‘Why did Andy get baptized?’ This question may only be a request for that bit of information, not a request for the gospel presentation,” suggests a LifeWay article titled “How to Talk to a Child About Salvation.”

If you do feel a child is starting to dig deeper spiritually and ask purposeful questions, LifeWay suggests asking follow-up questions, such as:

1. “Tell me what you’ve been thinking about.”
2. “What caused you to start thinking about this?”
3. “What does it mean to be a Christian?”
4. “What do you think baptism means?”
5. “How long has this been on your mind?”

Marshall and Eanes say to be careful not to lead a child into making a decision they don’t understand.

But, they say, “Give the conversation proper value and be willing to listen.”

And as you walk with them through this critical time, they say, “live your faith in such a way that the child sees the difference that Jesus makes in your life.”

Checklist for working with children

• Use well-designed and thought-provoking questions in teaching.
• Feel children are competent and trustworthy.
• Use objects as well as words when teaching.
• Avoid labeling children.
• Brainstorm as a way of communicating.
• Avoid sarcasm, put downs and ridicule.
• Send explicit invitations to succeed.
• Use low-risk, open-ended questions so the child is not afraid or insecure.
• Really listen to students.
• Don’t expect an immediate answer to what is asked.
• Let children know they are missed when they are absent.
• Personalize learning.
• Make good use of children experts in the class.
• Teach leadership and communication skills.
• Avoid overemphasis on competition and winning.
• Help children evaluate effectiveness as a group.
• Give equal attention and time to children with a low ability as well as high ability.
• Have high expectations.
• Emphasize future success rather than past failures.
• Encourage positive behavior in the child.
• Set clear goals.

Children want answers about everything, to know why and when and how. So it’s only natural that those questions would eventually turn spiritual, according to a LifeWay article titled “7 Questions Kids Ask About Salvation.”

“As a Bible study leader, you are fortunate,” the article says. “You have some important answers to the most important question, ‘How do I become a Christian?’”

Related questions might pop up, too, that workers can be prepared for, LifeWay says, such as:

• “What is sin?”

The Bible contains God’s rules of behavior. When you choose not to follow God’s rules, you sin against God (James 4:17).

• “Will God punish me for my sin?”

Yes. When you choose to disobey God, you do not feel close to God or happy with your life. Without God’s forgiveness, punishment continues after death.

• “Will God forgive me for my sin?”

Yes. When you ask God for forgiveness and trust in His Son, Jesus, your sins are forgiven by God.

• “What does it mean to trust in Jesus?”

To trust or believe in Jesus means trusting Him to save you from punishment and choosing to follow His example. By His behavior, Jesus showed us how to live in God’s way and how to follow God’s rules.

• “How do I tell God I want to be a Christian?”

The Bible says that you must be sorry for your sins. You must pray to God and ask God to forgive your sins. You must trust in Jesus to save you from the punishment that you deserve. Then you must promise to follow Jesus’ example and do your best to live in ways that honor God.

Marshall and Eanes say you should satisfy the child’s inquisitive nature, and when he or she asks a question for which you don’t know the answer, try to find it.

“The Bible teaches that we are to bring up children with appropriate instruction and guidance,” Richard E. Dodge wrote for LifeWay Christian Resources. “The influence of environment on the development of children is beyond dispute. Children pick up signals that contribute to forming their personality and approach to life.”

So it is helpful in growing a child and readying him for spiritual questions to help them learn how to have strong relationships. Make a point to relate to them positively and emotionally, Dodge said.

“Encouraging children to express emotions properly tells them that we … support and affirm the child’s feelings,” he noted, adding that warm responses and affirmation “help children develop positive relational skills.”

“Many churches make the mistake of rotating leaders every week — convenient for busy adults but unsettling for children,” said Janice Haywood, children’s ministry specialist for the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina. “You might consider how you would feel if the preacher in your pulpit were different every Sunday.”

Faith is shared mainly through relationships, she explained, so children need to relate to their leaders and vice versa.

A children’s worship leader should commit to a year, but if that’s not possible, a term of at least three months would at least help the children feel secure, Haywood noted. Other children’s volunteers should serve for at least a month at a time and longer if possible.

“A child may be amazed at the beauty of a sunset, and that may be the perfect chance to talk to them about a Creator God who knows them and loves them personally,” according to an article titled “What Gift May I Give to the Least of These?” written by Rod Marshall of Alabama Baptist Children’s Homes & Family Ministries and David Eanes, preschool and children’s minister at Meadow Brook Baptist Church, Birmingham, in Birmingham Baptist Association.