Caring for aging parents is a natural consequence of the passing of time and should be actively prepared for, according to writer Linda Winn.
During an episode of The Alabama Baptist podcast, “Amplify,” Winn told host Maggie Evans about her recent experience caring for her mother, who was totally blind and paralyzed by a stroke. It prompted her to write, “The Road to Glory: Walking Mama Home.”
Winn, a retired educator with a bachelor’s degree from Tennessee Tech University, a master’s degree from Winthrop University and post-master’s work at West Georgia University, explained how she came to take care of her mother, saying that on his deathbed her father made the request.
“‘I want you to take care of your mother now,’” Winn said, sharing her father’s words. “I promised him I would. That’s my Heavenly Father’s wish, too. He pretty much commands it.
“In 1 Timothy 5, He issues a dire warning. He says they’re worse than an unbeliever if they neglect to take care of their parents. That’s a shock to the system. When we were growing up, they were there for us.
“God led the way the whole time,” Winn asserted. “I turned it over to Him because it was a bigger mess than I could deal with. There were bumps in the road, but He steered us clear.”
She learned a lot from the experience, Winn acknowledged.
“It was those 10 years that I spent navigating the way through the eldercare system with my mother that were the years of greatest spiritual growth for me. I was in a place of total dependence on the Lord. I was in close personal contact with Jesus the whole time. My prayer life was 24/7. My constant question was, ‘What do I do now Lord?’”
Reversing roles
When parent and child trade places, as happened with Winn and her mother, it can be a hard thing to deal with, she said.
“It was a role reversal, and it was hard for both of us to adjust. It was very difficult for her losing her independence, and it takes that kind of setting yourself aside for someone else. It’s a calling.”
Navigating the system
Learning the ins and outs of the eldercare system and working through details of finding good caregivers also was difficult.
“It came at a time that I could rearrange my schedule to do it,” Winn said. “You have to put your discerning spirit on high alert because … you’re going to meet all kinds of people and you have to constantly be aware of the good people and the bad people.
“The reality is that we live in a fallen world and people do bad things and cause bad things to happen — but it also is a world with lots of good people who also have bad days. When good people have bad days, we need to be there as a buffer between them and our parents.”
All in preparation
As Winn reflected back on her journey, she described how she realized God brought her through her childhood and early years as preparation for taking care of her mother.
“I grew up in the kind of church where I got head knowledge, but not the heart knowledge,” she admitted. “I attended a crusade and finally heard the gospel. I finally understood what that meant. I was saved and sealed and under His protective hand until I was ready to follow Him.”
God then started putting people in Winn’s life to draw her closer to Himself.
“I was influenced by Charles Stanley, and I realized I needed a church to belong to,” Winn said, adding God eventually led her to the right one.
“The minute I walked in the door, I knew that’s where I belonged,” she recalled. “I walked the aisle and I was baptized. The rest is history.”
Inspired
An unexpected result of the 10 years taking care of her mother was the inspiration to write “The Road to Glory.”
“My writing took off,” Winn said, explaining how her experiences drove her to write. “I had written in the secular world but it helped me learn to dig deeper, and it helped me in every aspect of caring for my mother.”
Winn said her situation is common to many adult children, which is why she believes what she has learned and shares in the book will be valuable to others.
“We’re all headed for this if we live long enough,” she said. “We’ll be in this situation or helping someone in this situation. This is kind of a trailblazing book for you when it’s your turn. It’ll give you an idea of all the bad things that can happen and the bad people you can meet, and all the good people that you can meet, and how to deal with them. Everyone expects the unexpected when you’re dealing with aging parents.”
Pointing to God’s goodness and direction during the trying times, Winn said she was just doing what God wanted her to do.
“If we empty ourselves and allow Him to solve problems from His point of view, allow Him to use us to solve the problems, everything’s going to work out fine, just the way He wanted it to,” she declared.
For more about Linda Winn’s story and about her mother Sadie, as well as about her book, visit her website.
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