Listen to the tales of youth, and one hears that cemeteries are morbid places, places of ghosts and goblins. The stories about graveyards are filled with fear and dread. Cemeteries are places to be avoided, especially at night. Otherwise, there is no telling what harm might befall the wanderer who dares enter through the graveyard gates.
American culture is full of tall tales and hand-me-down stories about the perils of being found in a cemetery alone. Stories tell about displays of false courage heard in the sounds of the merry whistler pretending not to be afraid as he passes alongside the cemetery walls or walks along the road next to the country cemetery.
Some eastern religions teach fear of one’s departed ancestors. Surviving family members diligently try to placate the spirits of the departed lest the living be haunted or hurt by the departed. Caring for the gravesites of the departed is a religious duty accompanied by ceremonial fanfare.
Parts of Alabama have just completed their Decoration Days. These areas set aside one Sunday a year for this occasion. Country cemeteries are cleaned. Special flowers are placed on the graves. It is a time of family gatherings and reunions as loved ones are remembered.
A Sunday in May is the most common time for Decoration Day, although June also is a popular month. A few places even use a Sunday in July for this observance. Interestingly, many churches in the northern and north central parts of Alabama will be greatly impacted by this special day. In other parts of the state, people have no idea what one is talking about when Decoration Day is mentioned.
In places where Decoration Day observances are unknown, Memorial Day is assuming that flavor. Originally, Memorial Day was a time to honor those who gave their lives in service to the nation. The recent war with Iraq added to this toll, and hostilities there and elsewhere will continue to claim lives.
Our nation is deeply indebted to those who serve in the armed forces and especially to those who gave their lives for our nation. Pausing to pay respect for their sacrifice is altogether proper and fitting.
Memorial Day has also become a time to remember all of the departed, not just those who died in the military. It is a time to pay respect and to remember. It is more than parades and picnics. It is a somber time, a time of memorial, as the name suggests.
Perhaps this season of remembrance also provides a time to rethink the way society views the cemetery. Instead of being a morbid place, perhaps it can be seen as a place of love. Walk along a row of headstones and read the epitaphs. Some are odd but most speak of love. They attest to the important place held in the hearts of loved ones of those who have died.
Look at the care poured out on the gravesites year-round. Even in perpetual care cemeteries it is not uncommon to see flowers changed out with the seasons. Each act speaks of love.
Cemeteries are also places of memory. Perhaps that is why many such places are now called “memorial gardens.” In a variety of ways family members attempt to convey some of the uniqueness of their lost loved ones. Every item displayed, every word carved into stone or metal recalls uncommon qualities of the departed.
Cemeteries are places for private moments. They are places for tears. They are places for personal conversations. They are places for prayer. Seldom do I visit the gravesite of my first wife, Eleanor, without seeing others providing acts of care for the gravesites of their loved ones or just spending a few special moments lost in their emotions and memories. Such moments make cemeteries important places.
It may seem strange, but, at least for this writer, cemeteries are places of anticipation. The Bible says that when time is no more and Jesus comes again in power, it will be the dead in Christ who rise first to meet Him in the air. There is a southern gospel song which calls the event “that great gettin’ up mornin’ when all the dead in Christ shall rise.”
It is the resurrection. All who have died in the Lord will be raised to new life. It is almost impossible to walk through a cemetery and see the many testimonies to faith in Jesus Christ without sensing a kind of anticipation and longing for that wonderful and glorious day of His return.
Yes, cemeteries testify to loss, and that can be heartbreaking. But cemeteries also testify to love, human love between the departed and those surviving and to God’s love that gives hope in the midst of loss. That is why cemeteries are not morbid places. They are places of love and memory and hope.
Share with others: