Discipline issues in a ministry setting is one of the biggest challenges children’s leaders face.
Your No. 1 task as a teacher is to lovingly share the gospel, while also juggling authority and respect.
Show love, keep order
How do you show love while also keeping order in your Sunday School classroom, children’s worship, choir or Bible study?
Set firm, yet kind rules and expectations at the beginning.
This will let children know where you stand and how you handle things. It also allows children to know your expectations of what they should and should not do in the classroom.
The rules can be simple: no running; no pushing; speak kind words; sit down at Bible story time, during group or table time; raise your hand to speak and wait for your name to be called.
These are simple rules for preschoolers, but grade schoolers might need them as well. Place the rules somewhere in the classroom, and refer to them when needed. You also may want to give the rules to parents so they know your expectations. Setting clear boundaries is good for children.
Utilize the sit, tap, whisper and outside method.
Some children have a little more wiggle than others, and it might be more difficult for them to sit still. The sit, tap, whisper and outside method can help.
The first step in this method is sit. While the lead teacher is telling the Bible story, ask an assistant to sit next to the wiggler.
The second step is tap. The assistant can tap the child on the shoulder and point to the teacher as if saying, “Listen!” The third step is whisper. The assistant will quietly say to the child, “Let’s listen to what Mrs. Smith has to teach us about God. Can you do that?”
If these steps do not work, quietly take the child to the hallway. Ask the child what he or she has done wrong and what the rules of the classroom are.
If the child does not know, gently explain that he or she needs to sit and listen, or whatever the issue might be. Then quietly walk the child back into the room. If he or she continues to misbehave, point to the rules when needed.
Talk to the parents.
When is it appropriate to talk to parents about disciplinary issues?
First, you do not need to talk to parents if it is a one- or two-time occurrence. You never want church to be a burden or stressful to parents. If you talk to them every week about how their child never listens or can’t sit still, they may not return to church.
Show kindness
Second, if a child is hitting, pinching or hurting others, the parents do need to know. Tell them in a loving way what is happening.
Third, decide how to talk to parents if their child never listens and is always disobeying. Parents are protective of their children, as they should be, so you want to always show kindness.
Encourage parents
Consider phrases such as: “How can I best minister to your child?”
“I love that he or she is in my classroom or Bible study.”
“How can I make church easier for you as a parent? I want you here.”
Talking to parents about behavioral concerns is uncomfortable for everyone involved, but it needs to be done. Let the parents know you are their biggest cheerleader and you want to help them.
Importance of prayer
Pray for your children and their families.
While you might see this child once a week, the parents are probably struggling with the same issues at home every day. As a teacher, you are giving them a break and often allowing them a time of worship or adult Bible study. Pray for everyone to have strength.
I challenge you to open your Bible and read Philippians 4:6–7, then pray for the children in your classroom and in your church, as well as for their parents. Pray the child will want to sit down and have a thirst to hear God’s word.
God has placed you in this position for a reason. Perhaps you are where you are to bless and help a particular family, and in turn that child will bless you. Continue to pray for the children you minister to, and love them within the stress.
I am cheering you on because I know the stress you are dealing with. You can do it!
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