Counseling prior to wedding a good idea, experts say

Counseling prior to wedding a good idea, experts say

With so many marriages in the United States ending in divorce, more and more couples are seeking counsel before marriage. Often these premarriage counseling sessions are required by churches or ministers before a ceremony will be held.

“(The purpose of premarriage counseling) is not so much as lecture as it is to facilitate discussion among the couple,” said Neal Schooley, minister of pastoral care at Dawson Memorial Baptist Church, Homewood.

Schooley, who performs the majority of Dawson’s premarriage counseling, said counseling provides an opportunity for couples to examine and reflect on their decision with a third person skilled in counseling.

Another positive result Christian premarriage counseling offers is it gives couples time to pause and reflect on what’s happening in their lives and relationship.

In counseling, Schooley uses an instrument called “Prepare.”

“This enables the couple to discover relationship strengths and areas of growth,” Schooley said. “Sometimes they find out their relationship is stronger than they thought it was.”

Schooley, one of seven ministers on staff at Dawson trained in “Prepare,” counsels between 25 and 30 couples each year. The first session is a test that allows the couple to reflect on the relationship.

Depending on the feedback of the couple, three to five sessions are held to discuss the results. The final session is spent planning the wedding ceremony.

Other churches handle counseling differently.

“I encourage folks to meet with me several times before their wedding if I’m going to perform the ceremony,” said Steve Rodgers, pastor of Baldwin Baptist, Cullman.

Some counseling sessions focus more on the wedding ceremony, while others focus on the upcoming marriage.

But the idea is to meet with a counselor, discuss relevant issues and discover some truths before the ceremony takes place.