Couples who talk stay together

Couples who talk stay together

Rod Marshall, director of counseling with the Alabama Baptist Children’s Homes & Family Ministries, said he’s disappointed but not surprised by a recent study concluding that Baptists have the highest divorce rate among denominational Christians.

An Alabama Baptist article of March 23, 2000, says 29 percent of all Baptist adults have been divorced.
Marshall noted, “In our counseling centers, Alabama Baptist Children’s Homes & Family Ministries ahs been made award that what’s occurring in the community at large is occurring in the church. This provides a real commentary that we as Baptists are not preparing people for marriage.”

Marshall believes divorce has a negative effect on children. “Maybe in very rare cases, divorce doesn’t have a negative impact on the child. It usually causes children less security, along with difficulty in school and social relationships, and it’s difficult for them to have successful marriages.”

Dr. Paul Freed, founder and president of Marriage Makers and author of Maximum Marriage, agrees. “The keys to a happy marriage are love, communication and understanding,” he said. “Ways to prevent divorces are to prayerfully marry a compatible companion, work diligently at the marriage, and become informed of forces that divide marriage.”

Michael Smalley, director of media services at the Smalley Relationship Center in Branson, Mo., said the top reason a couple divorces is communication problems. The son of Christian author Gary Smalley acknowledged, “They don’t validate each other’s pain, they don’t understand what they’re arguing about because they don’t actually listen to each other and seek understanding about issues by asking questions.”