Creating ‘connecting point’ for young adults living at home key to outreach

Creating ‘connecting point’ for young adults living at home key to outreach

Young adults today are more likely to postpone marriage and move back in with their parents, but Alabama Baptist ministry leaders say relationships not categories are the key to engaging this generation.

An analysis released in May by the Pew Research Center found that for the first time in decades, young adults ages 18 to 34, or millennials as they are often called, are more likely to live with their parents than with a spouse or significant other. The study notes a variety of factors at play, including marrying later, stagnant wages and weak job opportunities.

‘Connecting point’

Though young adults may share similar demographic traits, strict categories can push them away from church, said Eileen Mitchell, an associate in the office of Sunday School and discipleship at the Alabama Baptist State Board of Missions (SBOM) who works with single adults ministry.

“The local church needs to offer a connecting point for the young adult. Many do not necessarily see themselves as ‘single’ adults even if they aren’t married. Some have stepped away from church during college. Most want to find a place within the church without calling attention to themselves,” Mitchell said.

Singles ministry in the past seemed to attract individuals looking for a spouse, said Randy Byars, who teaches a Sunday School class for graduate students and recent college graduates at First Baptist Church, Opelika, in Tuskegee Lee Baptist Association. That is not the case today.

“Our people seem to be more focused on trying to get established, getting their own career on track. There’s a sense that there is no hurry to get married,” Byars said.

Chris Harding, family pastor and director of LIFE Groups at Cottage Hill Baptist Church, Mobile, in Mobile Baptist Association, also sees adults in this age group taking more time to make college and career decisions. While finances are a driving factor, Harding sees security as equally important to these young people.

“For most young adults, home is a safe place to land until they figure out their next move,” Harding said.

Cottage Hill Baptist recently relaunched a class for early career professionals in response to the number of people they saw in that stage of life.

“From a church perspective, we try to minister where we see needs and provide a schedule that works. Our LIFE Groups are where connection happens, and we saw that these individuals needed a transition group as they become more independent,” Harding said.

Transitioning into adulthood while living at home can be challenging for young adults, especially when they have grown up in a church. For example when young adults continue to live at home to attend college or to work, churches, just like parents, can have trouble seeing these young adults as “grown-ups.” Mitchell advises that high school graduates in the church, regardless of their college or career path, be treated like prospects.

Giving courtesy

“Do not ask parents to pass on information to their son or daughter that is living at home. Give that young adult the courtesy of direct contact. And don’t expect them to attend your church because they grew up there. They may want to visit other churches and be seen as a unique adult instead of a child,” Mitchell said.

Dayspring Baptist Church, Mobile, in Mobile Baptist Association, also recently launched a ministry directed at young singles and college students in response to the needs in their congregation. The ministry includes small groups organized by interests and life experiences so members can engage in conversations that are more relevant to their daily lives, said Lee Hanks, a leader in the department.

“What we’ve found is that these young adults are looking for people to pour into them, to mentor them and guide them,” Hanks said. “From a ministry perspective, we also believe that it’s important for them to have Bible study and discussion with people in the same life stage.”

Creating community among young adults is key to engaging them in ministry, Mitchell said. That might mean a Bible study is offered at a time other than Sunday morning and that it includes a meal or social element. The community also should be their own. In other words, parents should not be included.

“Most young adults do not want to attend the same Bible study or Sunday School class that their parents attend,” Mitchell said.

That doesn’t mean that older adults have no place in singles ministry, however. Young adults respond well to engaging teachers who are strong in their walk with Christ, Mitchell said. Just as importantly, they need spiritual mentors who will live life with them, regardless of how messy it gets.

“Young adults want people who will listen to them instead of always talking, who will listen below the surface and not be afraid or scared when challenged,” Mitchell said.

Many young adults have not fully considered their beliefs, so they may be searching out spiritual direction and answers for the first time, Mitchell said. They need to share those questions in safe community, but ultimately they must come to faith individually.

The opportunity to invest in the lives of young adults is one reason Hanks was drawn to singles ministry.

“One of the things I’m most excited about is that as a leader, you have an opportunity to be very transparent with them and share your own life experiences,” Hanks said. “My wife and I have experienced things in life, and we’ve made a lot of mistakes. Our experience helps us facilitate these groups, to show them what it means to be a disciple, to grow and learn to be more like Jesus.”

Desire responsibilities

Young adults also tend to be very active outside of church, but they desire responsibilities within the church, Mitchell said.

“Place them on committees and listen to their input,” she advises. “They just may bring a new idea to the table that will benefit the church. Will they always come through? No. But I know some older adults who don’t either.”

Young adults appreciate passion and time, and though singles ministry is a lot of work, it’s vital to the future, Hanks said.

“We should be doing this — investing in the next generation.”