Despite the fact Christians supposedly live by higher standards, some statistics indicate Christian marriages have a divorce rate as high – if not higher – than non-Christian unions.
Fighting that trend requires commitment in an age where traditional values continue to be shunned.
“Christian marriages and marriage in general is under attack today,” said Dan Spencer, associate pastor of Ridgecrest Baptist Church, Dothan. “Our secular, post-Christian society does not encourage fidelity.
“The media undermines God’s design for marriage,” he added. “I believe the devil does not want any Christian marriage to succeed.”
However, Spencer isn’t sure divorce statistics are as bad as some reports indicate. He said outreach ministry to divorced individuals may skew the numbers for Christian divorce, compared with couples where both mates were active in church before marriage.
But Spencer does see serious issues affecting many young couples today.
“I have seen more marriages ruined by selfishness than any other problem,” Spencer said.
He said communication is critical in a marriage.
“You have to discuss your problems when you’re married,” he said.
Many problems can be stopped before they start, Christian counselors contend. Many churches offer intensive premarital counseling to help couples discuss issues like money, children and long-term career goals.
Some churches also offer Christian personality classes that help couples understand each other’s motivations, strengths and weaknesses, and the best ways to relate to them.
Sam Brassell, pastor of Southside Baptist Church, Dothan, said marriage is one of the most critical times for a couple to entrench themselves in faith. Unfortunately, some newlyweds choose this time to vacation from church.
“I feel like they use a lot of excuses,” Brassell said. “They say, ‘We’re so busy,’ ‘We need time together.’ It’s a lack of dedication or commitment to Jesus Christ.”
He said couples may also use travel as an excuse to be out of church. “Before you know it, it develops into a habit.”
Both Spencer and Brassell recommend setting aside daily time for personal and joint devotionals. They also suggest attending church services and a young couples’ Sunday School class every week.
“If both husband and wife are growing closer in Jesus, then they are headed for the same destination, the same goal,” Spencer said. “This brings them closer to each other.
“Many of the problems in a Christian marriage are rooted in problems regarding Lordship of Jesus Christ in the life of one or both of the mates,” Spencer added.
He said Christian couples often overlook the best marriage counseling book ever written – the Bible.
“Our society doesn’t encourage fidelity, and it does nothing to affirm the God-given biblical roles for husbands and wives,” he said.
“Remember, love is not going to keep you together,” Brassell said. “It’s the commitment you have made before God that will keep you together.”
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