It seems like mothers always have difficult decisions to make. Always wanting the best for their children, they sacrifice their own welfare for that of their children. Sometimes they’re unsure about what’s best, but when they ask God for help, they find the answers and get some reassurance along the way.
Virginia Greene, a member of Dawson Memorial Baptist Church, Homewood, and volunteer at Sav-A-Life in Vestavia for 11 years, had to make such a decision years ago, and she has since found her assurance.
That assurance came in 2000 when Greene located the son she gave up for adoption years ago. Since then, she has also found many similarities between him and her other son.
Neither man eats mayonnaise or peanut butter, and both love chocolate chip cookies and cinnamon toast.
Both men went to the University of Alabama, have master’s degrees and the same financial degree.
They both wear wire frame glasses, they look alike and they’re the same height.
“This couldn’t be coincidence,” said Greene. “This is a God story.”
And it’s a story in which God was present all along.
In 1962, Greene (then Hedgepeth) was a victim of rape. An acquaintance was under the influence of alcohol and forced himself into her home and committed the crime.
When Greene found out she was pregnant, she kept the information private.
“At that time, you could lose your job if you were pregnant outside of marriage, regardless of the circumstances,” she said. “Some people suggested abortion, but I knew that wasn’t right.”
The decision of whether to have the baby or to have an abortion was not a difficult one for Greene, but she had to decide whether to raise the child herself.
“My parents wanted me to, but I kept thinking of what was best for the child,” said Greene. “I knew that he needed to be raised in a Christian home by both a mother and a father. I did not know who would adopt him, but I could request a Christian couple.”
Greene traveled to Mobile to Catholic Social Services, where on June 6, 1963, a boy she called Philip was born.
“I got to see him when he was born, but I didn’t hold him because I knew I wouldn’t be able to release him,” she said. “Placing a child for adoption is not the selfish thing to do; it’s unselfish. You’ve got to ask where your child will be better off.”
A few years later, Greene married her husband Bill, to whom she has been married for 36 years, but she didn’t tell him about her child.
“I asked my doctor about it and he said not to tell,” Greene said. “He said if we got into an argument, he could use that against me, so I didn’t tell him.”
In 1969, Greene became a mother again when their son, Joe, was born.
“I felt guilt and shame for not telling them about what happened,” she said. “I was bitter toward the man who raped me, and I was angry at God for ‘allowing’ it to happen.”
Then in 1990, Greene faced a time of grief. She lost both of her parents and a sister-in-law in less than two years.
“All along, I had controlled everything else, but this was out of my control.”
Her doctor recommended a counselor, who told Greene she had to tell her story, which included two major issues, and she should tell her husband first.
“We were going to Boaz to take care of my mom, and we stopped for a picnic,” she said. “I told him I had two things to tell him, and I was going to tell him the first that day. I told him about the sexual abuse I had endured when I was five years old.”
“And then, on the weekend, I got up in Bill’s lap like a little girl and told him about my son. He was so sweet and understanding.”
Later, Greene also told Joe about what happened when she was a child.
“And I told him there was something else and to let me know when he was ready,” she said.
One day in 1992 when Joe was visiting her, Greene offered him a letter to read that would explain her secret.
“I gave him the letter I had written to my other son,” Greene said. “It started out, ‘My dearest Philip,’ so of course he looked up and said, ‘Who’s Philip?’”
After telling Bill and Joe, Greene attempted to find Philip. She had the letter she wrote to Philip filed with the agency in Birmingham, but it wasn’t merged with his file in Mobile.
“God knew I wasn’t ready yet,” she said. “I’ve grown so much spiritually, and it happened in God’s timing.”
In January 1999, Greene’s son contacted the agency, but he didn’t file a formal request until December 1999.
“He was hesitant about it because he had a brother from his adoptive family whose mother didn’t want to make contact.” Greene said.
After some trouble with contact because the agency didn’t know Greene’s married name, she finally got a call on Palm Sunday in 2000. Sister Margaret from the social service told Greene her son, who his adoptive parents named Russ Taylor, was looking for her.
“She asked if I wanted contact, and I said, ‘Oh yes! Tell me how to call him.’ But I had to wait some more.”
After each read letters from the other and both agreed to contact by phone, they had their first call. “I asked if I could call him son, and he said yes,” Greene said. “Then I told him my life story.”
The two communicated through telephone and e-mail. Taylor heard how he was conceived and that his biological father had died of throat cancer from tobacco and alcohol abuse. Greene found out that Taylor was one of four adopted children to Lennie and Pauline Taylor, who were both Catholics and are now deceased. Taylor wanted to make sure his mom was a Christian.
“And God was faithful,” Greene said. “All those years, I had been praying for him and for his adoptive family, and that he would have my faith. Even though his parents were Catholic, Taylor became Baptist when he was 18, after becoming a Christian in 1979. Not only that, but he had just graduated from Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary in Mill Valley, Calif. God is that good to answer prayer.”
In addition to missions trips and work with youth, Taylor worked with Mission Arlington in Arlington, Texas, planting churches and building apartments, shortly after meeting his mom. He now works at Golden Gate Seminary as assistant dean of student life.
“God also taught me a lesson,” Greene said, laughing. “I had prayed all those years for Russ, and he came from a Catholic family and became a Baptist. I just assumed Joe would be Baptist and didn’t pray about that, and he came from a Baptist home and became Catholic when he married his wife, Raine.”
Greene and Taylor finally met in June 2000 at Gulf Shores during Greene’s family vacation, where they celebrated Taylor’s 37th birthday.
“It was wonderful, and so natural,” she said. “He fit right in with the rest of the family, and we look a lot alike. It’s like I’ve always known him and he’s always been a part of our family.”
Greene had compiled a family album for Taylor with a family history and family tree.
“My husband loves him,” she said. “Russ went to shake his hand, but Bill hugged him. And Joe has always wanted a brother.”
After the vacation, Taylor met about 150 friends of Greene and her family at a reception.
Since then, Mother’s Days for Greene have been different. She said she no longer keeps secret that she is mother of two sons.
“Every Mother’s Day and every holiday, and every other day, of course, I’d wonder how Russ was. Now I can know.”
Indeed, knowing is what makes Greene’s story so important.
“‘Blessed Assurance’ is a song that came to my mind when I was telling my story. I couldn’t even think of the name of it, but I thought, ‘This is my story, this is my song,’” she said.
And her story, a God story, is one she wants to tell.
“If it helps just one person, it will make me happy,” she said. “I hope women will know they can tell people their stories, because God healed me when I opened up.
“God is faithful. He will make something good from something that seems bad. He heals the broken-hearted and binds up the wounds.”
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