Deacons should serve as agents for settling conflict in the church, not jump in the middle of it, a Florida Baptist Convention leader said.
“You have to help the church regain its sense of direction and purpose, and you can’t be a part of the conflict if you are mediating it,” said Roy Saint, associate director of the Florida Convention’s pastor staff leadership department. Saint led a weeklong workshop for deacons during the National Conference for Church Leadership, June 24-28, at LifeWay Ridgecrest Conference Center in North Carolina.
“The work of God will go on with or without our help,” he said.
Still, a church in harmony is more effective in evangelizing a lost world, Saint said, and today’s leaders could get some pointers from what those in the early church did to resolve conflict.
“First, they listened to their people. In any conflict situation, the key is to listen,” he said.
Those who listen well might learn the conflict goes deeper than what is actually being discussed, Saint said, noting, “Sometimes, what you are hearing is not the conflict. “
The early leaders also took people and their needs seriously. Saint said, “Something might not be a crisis to you,” he said, “but it is to some people.”
Third, they built flexibility into the system.
“In a world of change, we have to make changes. Conflict can sometimes alert us that we need to make that change,” he explained. Saint added, “There can be something positive to conflict. At least someone is concerned about something so much they become agitated about it. “
He listed three types of conflict: intrapersonal, interpersonal and substantive. Intrapersonal conflict begins within an individual and might include feelings of frustration, confusion, unrest or guilt, Saint said.
Symptoms of intrapersonal conflict listed by Saint include:
The same person causes conflict over and over.
The person is encountering problems in his or her life.
The person is going through development stages in life, is experiencing stress or is physically ill or emotionally unstable.
Interpersonal conflict, Saint said is between two or more people and can grow out of intrapersonal conflict.
Symptoms of interpersonal conflict, he said, include:
Withdrawal
Rationalization
Denial
Fight behavior. “Differences erupt into personal attacks, name-calling and such.”
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