Divorce is a reality for many children in today’s society.
“I would say that for a minimum of 50 percent of the children we see the issue is divorce,” said Rod Marshall, director of counseling with Alabama Baptist Children’s Homes and Family Ministries in Alabama. In their 26 counseling centers in Alabama, they serve not only children in the care of their children’s homes, but children living with their parent or parents in the various communities. They counsel people from three years old and up.
The loss children experience from their parents’ divorce can severely alter virtually any aspect of their person. “The effect of divorce is so pervasive that it can be almost anything- academic, health, social problems,” he said.
He explained that people are made up of a series of systems, and whatever component of a person’s system happens to be their ‘weakest link’ under the best of circumstances, is the one that is likely to falter in circumstances such as divorce or other loss.
“Churches can be proactive rather than being reactive,” he said. He stressed the positive impact of churches on children and adults by establishing policies for couples getting married, requiring premarital counseling and so on. He suggested churches do mentoring program for couples in crisis and for newlyweds. Offer support groups for blended families and minister to those who have divorced in a loving, non-judgmental way. “Intentionally minister to the family in such a way that it truly helps. It would be amazing the amount of good it would do.”
Sadly, the need for children’s counseling for divorce is not likely to decrease.
Marshall said the divorce rate in Alabama has increased by 300 percent since 1970, the year that the no-fault divorce law was signed into Alabama law. “It is probably going to get worse because Florida and Tennessee are tightening their divorce laws, so it will be cheaper and easier for their residents to come here and establish legal residence to get their divorces,” he said.
Though all U.S. states have had no-fault divorce laws since 1971, a handful of states, including Florida and Tennessee are what Marshall calls “progressive,” making divorces tougher and more expensive, thereby encouraging families to stay together. “It is to the advantage of a state to have stronger families,” he said. “Families are economically stronger, have better health and the kids perform better in school.”
(TAB)
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