By Nathan Harris, Ph. D.
Vice President for Strategic Initiatives, University of Mobile
OUR RELATIONSHIPS
1 Peter 3:1–12
1 Peter 3 begins with what many scholars consider the “household code.”
Speaking directly to wives, husbands and then all believers, Peter is addressing primarily how we are to live in relationship to those around us, whether it be our spouse or even more broadly, the world around us.
Other passages on the household code include Ephesians 5:22–6:9 and Colossians 3:18–4:1.
As Peter draws from the context of 1 Peter 2:18–20, he speaks to both wives and husbands on how they are to live together and how they are to honor the Lord through their marriage (1 Pet. 3:1–7) before addressing how Christians should relate to one another (1 Pet. 3:8–12).
Wives (1–6)
First, Peter speaks directly to wives in verses 1–6, calling them to live in submission to their husbands.
Just as slaves submit to their masters and citizens submit to their authorities (2:13), “in the same way,” Peter calls wives to submit to their husbands.
This is not to say that the relationship between wives and husbands is identical to that of slaves and masters but is more so telling us about the relational dynamic present in marriage.
Wives submit to the headship and authority of their husbands. Why?
As Peter says, so the unbelieving husband is won over by the way she lives her life according to God’s Word.
Even without saying a word, a wife’s submission to her husband can lead an unbelieving spouse to the faith.
And instead of focusing on her outward appearance, wives should be attentive to their hearts — adorning themselves with a gentle and quiet spirit, joyfully submitting to their husbands, which all ultimately honors the Lord.
Husbands (7)
After addressing the wives in verses 1–6, Peter turns his attention on the other half of marriages — the husbands.
At first glance, one may notice that Peter addresses the wives with six verses while only dedicating one verse to the husbands.
This is not to say one part of the marriage needs less directive from God’s word, but that Peter was primarily focusing on those who were more liable to experience oppression from authorities rather than those who exercise authority (Schreiner p.180).
In speaking to husbands, Peter tells them to live in an understanding way with their wives that shows honor and treats them as coheirs of grace.
Peter is giving directive on how husbands are to lead — with understanding and honor.
The headship of the husband isn’t intended to be domineering or harsh.
Instead it is to model the same sacrificial love that Christ gave for the church (Eph. 5:25).
Husbands are to exercise their role with understanding, honor and love.
All Believers (8–12)
Lastly, Peter addresses Christian relationships between one another.
Broadening the scope from husbands and wives, Peter encourages believers to be of one mind, having compassion for each other, and with humility exhibiting compassion for each other.
Instead of seeking to retaliate when experiencing something unjust (paying back evil for evil), Christians are called to bless others.
In supporting these statements, Peter says the one who wants to love life and experience good days does not pursue evil and deceitfulness but keeps himself clean of wrong doing and speaks truth.
Christians should seek peace for their lives and pursue it.
For the Lord is for those who pursue righteousness, and His face is against those who do evil.
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