The pizza delivery man comes into the reception area, loaded down with pizzas. Children and teenagers swarm into the building, accompanied by their parents. Some are wheeled in, some walk on their own, all with anticipation on their faces as they greet the volunteers.
For almost two years the scene has been repeated monthly as caregivers receive a much-needed break at the Special Family Night Out ministry of First Baptist Church, Decatur.
It provides respite care for caregivers of special needs children and adult the first Friday night of every month. The program has received the Distinguished Community Service Award from the Association for Retarded Citizens (ARC) from the local chapter and from the Alabama State ARC Convention.
Frank and Joan Dougherty coordinate the ministry. It began, according to the pair, with a challenge from their pastor, Buddy Champion.
Frank recalled, “Our church started Every Member in a Ministry. It caused us to start thinking about where we could join God in the ministry where He was working. Looking back, we can look at the spiritual markers and see that the Lord has been preparing us for this ministry for a long time.”
An experience with their daughter’s friend was one of the markers, although they did not realize it at the time. “Our daughter made friends with a little girl who had cerebral palsy. She had never spent the night away from home except with family. She came and spent the night with us,” Frank said. “After a night and a day, I was exhausted.”
Exhausting task
The couple marveled at the stamina it required for the girl’s mother to care for her all the time.
When the challenge came from their pastor, the couple soon realized where their ministry was. They talked to the church staff and visited a similar program at another church.
“The program we visited had nine kids there,” Frank said. “We thought we could handle that. Then, our first night we had 16. We just about panicked.”
The second session, they had 34. Two years into the program, they have served up to 56 guests, with an average attendance of more than 40.
One reason for the success of the program is that the Doughertys do not limit the age of the participants, preferring to extend their respite care to caregivers of special needs adults, also.
“The youngest guest we’ve ever had was 2 months old. The oldest is 43,” Joan said. She added that they include siblings of special needs children, which truly frees parents and caregivers to have an evening out every month.
They attempt to accommodate all requests, even some extraordinary needs. Frank related, “We had a lady who called. She had a special needs child with a tracheal tube and gastric tube. She asked if they could come, and I told her we really weren’t equipped for that. She said, ‘That’s the story of my life.’”
Joan was not willing to give up easily, so they began calling people — a nurse, a respiratory therapist — and discovered they could make it work. The woman brought the child to the Friday Night Out, then attended the church. Frank said, “She told me it’s the first time she had been in church in 14 years.”
They hear feedback from other caregivers, parents who hadn’t been able to go out in two years because of the difficulty of finding a sitter who is able to care for someone with special needs.
Joan also sends postcards to remind the families of each session.
Joyce Brewer, caregiver for her 21-year-old grandson, Jason, enjoys the program.
“It thrills him when I bring the postcard in from the mailbox. He sets it in front of the television and says, ‘I’m going, I’m going.’”
Although Frank is the primary spokesman, he points to Joan as the “heart and soul” of the ministry. As a teacher of special needs students, she has the expertise needed to run the program. She does all the organizing. Approximately 80 volunteers rotate duties, with a regular core group of 12 to 15.
In addition to having pizza, the guests watch videos, play basketball, air hockey, bumper pool and other games and participate in singing and arts and crafts. Although the couple is keenly aware of the value of the service they provide to the families, they see the impact it has on their special guests.
“Special needs kids have no place to go — no place to fit in,” Frank pointed out. “Other kids have ball games, friends to visit, but these kids have no place.”
The Doughertys are encouraging other churches to begin similar ministries on different nights, so the caregivers could have more than one night each month, according to Joan. One church, Central United Methodist, has started a program on the second Friday of the month.
Even the volunteers are impacted by involvement in the ministry. Caleb Miller, a senior at Austin High School, began working with special needs students in Vacation Bible School two summers ago. Although Caleb felt God’s call to full-time Christian service as a ninth grader, he now realizes what direction that service will take.
“This is the passion God has put in my heart,” he said. “I’d rather be doing this than anything else.”
Share with others: