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First person: What not to do when people are hurting

How should we respond to blessings, trials and hardships?
  • January 19, 2026
  • Adam Dooley
  • Featured, First person, Latest News
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First person: What not to do when people are hurting

A family of four dies unexpectedly on the highway.

A routine visit to the doctor’s office reveals a terminal illness.

A late Friday afternoon meeting concludes with a single father losing his job.

A tornado rips through a small town leaving nothing but debris in its wake. 

A vacation trip turns tragic with the disappearance of a young child. 

Examples like these illustrate how vulnerable all of us are to the unexpected tragedies that can change our lives forever. Thankfully, the most severe hardships often bring out the very best in our neighbors who are eager to love, support and encourage the downcast. Good friends are often God’s healing balm in our lives when everything else falls apart. 

RELATED: Check out more articles on faith and culture from pastor Adam Dooley. 

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An ugly underbelly, however, also exists when adversity knocks on our door. Demeaning insecurities often plague us when trials invade our lives. We wonder if God still loves us. We worry that our pain is the direct result of our sin. We grieve what we perceive to be the absence of God in our lives. 

Though these attitudes won’t cause us to stumble when we aren’t on the receiving end of calamity, there are other temptations when we witness others hurting. Most of us would never vocalize our darkest thoughts, but sometimes we sit in judgment over the misfortunes of others as if they are deserving of the difficulties we avoid. By inflating our sense of self-righteousness, we magnify the perceived inadequacies of those in the fires of misfortune. Driven by inward arrogance and outward apathy, our presumption reeks of sanctimonious foolishness.

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Considering these dangers, allow me to offer a necessary biblical principle to remember when hardships arise. Namely, the presence of tragedy does not reveal the presence of sin. In Luke 13, Jesus addresses a well-known atrocity that left the Galileans bewildered and confused. Apparently, Pilate killed a group of Jews who were making sacrifices in the temple because he suspected them of sedition. Unfortunately, the common belief then, and even today, was that victims of such calamities were guilty of extraordinary sins. 

Though unspoken, this idea also suggests that those who emerge unscathed from close destruction must do so because of their unparalleled morality. Interestingly, however, is that Jesus refused to assign guilt to those who were killed even as He resisted the urge to assign innocence to those who were not. The positive or negative nature of a people’s circumstances is not an indicator of their need or lack thereof for repentance. 

Jesus simply answers, “Unless you repent, you will all likewise perish (Luke 13:3).” Then, to drive the point further, our Savior shares another example about the danger of presumptuous interpretation when trials come. When a tower in Siloam fell and killed 18 people, Jesus again refused to make reckless judgments (Luke 13:4). Though our Savior does not deny that some events are acts of judgment or that sin often causes pain, He does insist that we should never feel safe or proud because bad things do not happen to us. Again, He simply retorts, “Unless you repent you will all likewise perish (Luke 13:5).”

My first reaction to any disaster should not be a moral evaluation of those who suffer and those who do not. Many wicked people live carefree lives, and many godly individuals face immense challenges. Could it be that God sometimes uses calamity to bring those of us who are spectators to repentance rather than to punish those who are immoral? Do bad things sometimes happen for reasons we do not understand? The painful realities of a fallen world should lead to our humble repentance rather than our boastful reassurances.  

So how should we respond to blessings, trials and hardships?

First, we should humble ourselves. Humble yourself before God and yield to His plan even when you are hurting. Humble yourself if you emerge unscathed after life’s storms. Humble yourself as you enjoy the blessings of safety and tranquility. Refuse to use God’s blessings as an occasion for boasting.

Second, we should pray for our neighbors when they hurt. Pray for wisdom about how you might encourage them. Pray that God will bring our community together when we face difficulties. Pray for a deeper, more sincere walk with God. Pray with thanksgiving for God’s mercy and protection each day of your life.

Third, we should love more. Love God more than you did before your life fell apart. Love your neighbors as yourself when they suffer. Love your community and friends as precious parts of your life. Love your enemies when tragedies strike by burying past grudges. Love your place of worship and the believers there.

Finally, we should thank God. Ask Him to make you more aware of the blessings you take for granted. Thank God for His protection and care over the course of your life. Thank God for His unconditional love. Thank God that our circumstances do not reflect our eternal value. Thank God for the strength to endure our worst days.


EDITOR’S NOTE — Adam B. Dooley is pastor of Englewood Baptist Church in Jackson, Tennessee, and author of “Hope When Life Unravels and Exalting Jesus in 1-2 Chronicles.”

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