Though grandparents serving as parents to their grandchildren is not a new trend, current statistics are startling. According to 2000 U.S. Census data, more than 56,000 grandparents in Alabama are responsible for meeting the basic needs of their grandchildren.
Nationally 8.3 percent of all children under the age of 18 are living in grandparent- or other relative-maintained households. In Alabama, it is 10.1 percent, representing more than 113,000 children who depend on grandparents or relatives for their daily needs.
In social services circles, the reasons for these statistics are known as the 4Ds: death, divorce, drugs and desertion, said Alison Couch, data analyst for the Alabama Cooperative Extension System at Alabama A&M University in Normal and state program coordinator for the Relatives as Parents Program.
In Alabama, however, experts acknowledge that one “D” — drugs — is the most common reason for children to be removed from their parents’ home, Couch said.
Anniston attorney Debra Jones sees cases daily in which criminal acts and custody issues merge. Since she began practicing law 15 years ago, Jones has seen a dramatic increase in the number of women who enter the criminal-court system. Almost every case involves drugs, she said. Most of these women are mothers, which means someone has to take responsibility for their children. More often than not, that someone is a grandparent.
For grandparents who step into the parenting role for their grandchildren, the legal, financial and emotional aspects of this decision can be overwhelming.
Fifty years ago, grandparents could care for a child by virtue of their relationship, Couch said. A grandparent could enroll their grandchildren in school and obtain medical treatment with no questions asked. Today, however, a grandparent must have legal guardianship or custody in order to have those rights.
If there is no parent willing or able to take care of a child, then Jones advises grandparents to get an attorney and file for legal custody.
In Alabama, there is also a document called a delegation of parental rights, which is a temporary order that gives authority to someone other than the biological parents and is honored by schools and doctors.
Sharon Webster, a 73-year-old grandmother raising her 10-year-old grandson, said her attorney has advised her on issues like health insurance, Social Security and adoption. She believes good legal advice is absolutely necessary for someone in her situation.
“I had never dealt with anything like this before,” she said. “I don’t think I could have made it without the help of our lawyer.”
The Alabama Department of Human Resources also can provide resources to these grandparents, Couch said. One resource is a program known as kinship foster care, through which grandparents can become foster parents to their own grandchild and receive some financial assistance.
Though it may not be the first consideration, the financial burden of parenting again can be significant. “These grandparents are usually retired and on a limited income,” Couch said. “And it’s rare that it’s only one child who comes into the home. Usually it’s two, three or four children, and that financial burden is tremendous.”
Couch once worked with an elderly retired woman who lived with her adult daughter. When the woman’s two teenaged grandsons came to live with them, the economic impact was great. “With two teenagers, their food budget changed dramatically, and it changed their entire financial situation,” Couch said.
Another issue is the emotional toll that raising grandchildren can take. “These grandparents tend to feel very isolated,” Couch said. “They have reached retirement age. They are ready to travel … go to lunch with their friends, and suddenly they are having to worry about PTA meetings, school supplies and lunch money again.”
Despite the challenges, grandparents are uniquely qualified to provide safe and stable homes for their grandchildren, said Marcia Davis, education coordinator for the women’s division of Princeton Baptist Medical Center in Birmingham. “Grandparents are the backbone of our society. They show up and do what they can to make a bad situation better. Grandparents have the love and devotion to give these children emotional stability.”
Editor’s Note — Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of the children.
Share with others: