The deaths of loved ones during the Christmas season can overshadow the holiday with sadness and grief.
When my father died unexpectedly at Christmas, our mailbox contained a confusing mixture of Christmas cards and sympathy cards. My family spent Christmas grieving his death and missing his presence.
I felt the same way when my mother died recently at Christmastime, as if the festive spirit was entirely eclipsed by the grief of her absence. I realized that memories of past Christmases can become bittersweet reminders of those we’ve loved and lost.
In simple yet meaningful ways, we can support and minister to others who are grieving during the holiday season.
Remember the loved one
As a family, visit the gravesite to honor the loved one.
Make a donation or perform an act of kindness in the loved one’s name.
Talk about the loved one with family and friends, remembering special times, honoring the person’s life.
- Create an ornament or decoration in memory of the loved one, such as a photo ornament or a decoration with their favorite colors or Scripture.
- Celebrate a peaceful, more reflective Christmas season that centers on gratitude for the person’s memory and for those still present.
Come together as a family
- Allow space for each family member to grieve differently. Some may want to talk; others may want solitude and silence.
- Spend time together focusing on Scripture readings that testify to God’s love and comfort such as Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
- Worship together with church members or others, spending time in prayer.
How the church can minister
- Offer special grief counseling sessions or grief support groups.
- Encourage church members to pray for grieving families; consider sending notes of encouragement; offer practical help like preparing meals.
- Preach on God’s comfort for those in grief.
- Provide a list of comforting Scriptures to families in mourning.
- Organize a “Service of Remembrance” where families can share memories of loved ones.
- Stay in contact with the grieving — visit, send letters of love and encouragement or invite them to family gatherings.
- Provide childcare for those who may need time alone to grieve and pray.
- Offer a time of special prayer before worship services for those dealing with loss.
- Include moments of quiet reflection and remembrance during Christmas services.
- Provide books written by Christian authors on coping with grief such as C.S. Lewis’, “A Grief Observed” or John Claypool’s, “Tracks of a Fellow Struggler.”
The Christmas season can be a time of overwhelming grief for those who have lost loved ones, but by honoring their memories, coming together as families and receiving support from the church, those who grieve can find a sense of peace even amidst their sorrow. Christ’s birth brings hope and comfort, even in the darkest moments.
Scriptures to comfort those in mourning
Lamentations 3:31–33
“For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.”
Reassures us of God’s compassion and unfailing love, reminding us that grief is not the final word — God’s love and comfort will prevail.
Matthew 5:4
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
Jesus reassures that those who grieve will receive comfort.
Revelation 21:4
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Gives hope that, in the end, God will remove all suffering and sorrow.
Psalm 23:4
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
A reminder that God is our comfort, even in the darkest and most difficult times.
John 14:1–3
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?”
Jesus offers assurance that there is a place for us in God’s eternal home, bringing hope to those in grief.
1 Thessalonians 4:13–14
“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.”
Reminds believers that death is not the end, offering hope in the resurrection.
2 Corinthians 1:3–4
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
God is a source of compassion and comfort, helping us bring comfort to others.
Romans 8:38–39
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Nothing, not even death, can separate us from God’s love.
Psalm 147:3
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Shows God’s tender care for those who are grieving, offering healing for the heart.
Isaiah 41:10
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
God is with us, providing strength and holding us up during difficult times.
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