Watching someone struggle with anxiety can actually be anxiety-provoking for yourself. We know anxiety can be a contagious emotion. Therefore, it is vital for those who want to support someone through anxiety to care for themselves first.
You do not want to allow your worry for the person to exacerbate their anxiety; rather, you want to be an anchor for them that is steady and strong. It is also okay to know your limits and know when to refer someone to professional help.
Someone struggling with anxiety does not need you to fix their feelings or minimize what they are experiencing. If you have not struggled with anxiety, it can be difficult to empathize with what someone is experiencing.
Anxiety affects their whole body and mind and even their spiritual walk. It is very real and difficult for them to talk about. The best thing you can do for someone struggling is to listen with curiosity, not judge their feelings or thoughts, and point them to helpful resources.
‘Listen’
Most people need to know they are not a burden, you care about them and you will listen when they need to talk.
I often think about how God comforts me when I am experiencing sadness or affliction. Throughout Scripture, we see a picture of God who is patient, kind, compassionate and merciful.
Psalm 116:5 simply lays out these attributes of God: “Gracious is the Lord; and righteous; our God is merciful.”
We want to approach those who are suffering in their anxiety with the same heart and mind of Christ. What they do not need is our condemnation and our judgment.
They do need us and the church to embody these loving attributes so that they can feel known, heard and comforted.
Whether you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety, do not hesitate to reach out for help. Counseling is a wonderful resource to help someone identify the cause of their anxiety and develop tools to manage it.
If you know someone struggling with anxiety, reach out to them and let them know you are here for them. Because anxiety can be so isolating and lonely, those struggling with it will not often reach out on their own.
Be a source of comfort and hope for them by checking in and asking how they are doing. Everyone needs a good social support system full of people who love them and genuinely care about them.
Armed with new knowledge and understanding about anxiety, we can be that support and help guide them toward the resources that can bring hope and help.
EDITOR’S NOTE — This story was written by Lisa Edwards Keane, MAMFC, LPC-S, NCC.
How to find a counselor
- Ask for referrals from friends or family. The best recommendations often come from those who know you best or have experience with a certain professional.
- Reach out to your church for recommendations. Many churches keep lists of trusted counselors in their towns. They can sometimes make an introduction for you to that counselor.
- Be willing to research and read about the therapists you want to contact. One counselor cannot meet everyone’s specific needs. God gifted different counselors for different issues and personalities. Read more about their credentials, specialties and trainings.
- Ask about how spirituality and religion will play a role in the counseling room. Each person approaches their faith differently and has different comfort levels with spirituality in counseling. Let your counselor know how you would like to integrate your faith in counseling.
- Don’t wait too long to call. There could be a waiting list so call sooner rather than later if you are thinking about seeking help.
- It is okay to say someone is not a good fit. It could take meeting with a few counselors until you find the right fit for you. Counselors expect this and honor this as part of the process.
- Be willing to invest in counseling. There is a financial investment in the counseling process that you also must take into consideration. Look at your budget and insurance benefits, and make a plan for how you will invest in your mental health.
Source: Lisa Edwards Keane, lisakeanecounseling.com
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