Insights for parents offered as students ready to leave home

By John Croyle
Founder and executive director of Big Oak Ranch

In the 28 years we have operated Big Oak Ranch, we have had approximately 1,500 children call it their home. One of the basics these “professors of life” have taught us is there are four transition stages for our children that are coming whether our children are ready or not. There is very little you and I, as parents, can do to change this. Once past childhood, our children experience first, puberty; second, high school graduation; third, college graduation/career; fourth, marriage (if one chooses to marry).

As our children prepare to leave us when they graduate from high school, we are probably going to experience these separate or combined emotions concerning their leaving the nest:

1. Excitement as they move on into adulthood and prepare to fly on their own.
2. Sadness because they are leaving us to establish their own identity, and we feel loss.
3. Fear knowing we didn’t adequately pack their bags for life’s journey.
4. Thankfulness they have made it safely so far.
5. Continually praying for their safety.

In Proverbs 4 the writer is giving us the tools we need to have in our children’s bags as they move out on their own. Before they leave you let us encourage you to do two things:

1. Personally go through the fourth chapter of Proverbs and highlight all the verbs the Father is giving as his instructions. See if you can break this down into four to five significant points. For example, verses 14–17 stress choosing friends wisely. This advice alone will keep our departing children from pain and loss.
2. Sit down with your student and go through the chapter sharing the truths you hope they will carry with them as they go out on their own.

The last two verses, 26–27, are what we all want our children to be — focused on the right track, not turning to the right or left.

The letter accompanying this story is one I wrote to a young friend as he was moving into his career and leaving the security of his family. The name has been omitted, but I share the message with you to illustrate several points. These points are the closure to what you and I hope we have planted in our children’s hearts with the truths of Proverbs 4.

Please pray with your child, and understand you and I are finished with the preparation stage of our children. We will still have influence, but our training days are at a close. Continually pray for your children and ask for God’s protection as they grow up in every way. You had them on loan from God for at least 18 years, now it is time to give them back.

Editor’s note – John Croyle is a member of MeadowBrook Baptist Church in Gadsden. He is a University of Alabama graduate and former football standout.