Loving relationships are worth the trials and heartaches

I remember the very first time I looked at you. Oh, I had seen you before. I might have even met you before, but it took me a while to really see you, to look into your face and see that twinkle of something that would later mean so much to me.

At first, I admired the way you looked. When I looked at you, I felt all mushy inside and when you spoke, I heard the voice of an angel. I knew you were “the one” when I saw how kind and gracious you were to every person — how you treated every person as if he or she were the most important person in the world. You made me feel like the most important person in the world and even after we were married, that never changed.

Over the years, we had our problems, disappointments and yes, even disagreements and fights. Life together hasn’t always been rosy. It hasn’t always been easy. Did you become haughty and resentful? No. You decided to forgive me.

I am so grateful to God for feelings. They bring such joy and pleasure to our lives. But feeling are just feelings. They change from time to time — sometimes from day to day. Sometimes those feelings go away. We don’t always feel loving, we don’t always feel like caring. We haven’t made our lives by our feelings. Looking back, I realize we’ve lived our lives based on the decision we made. Oh, in the beginning, the reason we came together and married may have been the feelings of love we felt for each other. It might have been the physical attraction between us. Or it could have been the mental and emotional excitement we both feel when we’re together.

To live and conduct our relationship by our feelings would be to betray that relationship and our promise to each other — “to love and to cherish each other until death do us part.” When you make a decision to do something, you do it whether you feel like it or not.

I can truthfully say that I have always loved you. I decided to love you and my only regret is that there were times when life was so scary and confusing for us because we had not consciously made that decision.

Now I know that when I looked into your eyes and saw that twinkle, it wasn’t just one little secret or mystery known only to you. I thank God that I decided to love you and I think you should know that I’d do it all over again.