Matthew 5:27–30; Proverbs 5:15–21; 6:25–32

Bible Studies for Life
Associate professor of divinity, Beeson Divinity School, Samford University

‘I Pledge You My Faithfulness’
Matthew 5:27–30; Proverbs 5:15–21; 6:25–32
You are what you eat. You are what you think. You become like those with whom you associate. Each of these adages contains much truth. Our focal passages affirm the second one in connection with marital faithfulness. Jesus called upon His followers to love God not only with their whole heart, soul and strength but also with their mind for good reason.

Mind, Mind
“Everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart,” Jesus said. Let the thought of sexual unfaithfulness enter your mind, turn it over in your mind a few times and the next thing you know, the things of God no longer have room within either your heart or mind and the temptation to sin grows exponentially. Guard your mind jealously. Protect it. Mind your mind. Make your mind mind, because your marriage, your relationship with God, indeed everything of value in this life is at stake. The devil attacks the mind and lures the heart. The devil is a liar and murderer. He lies in order to kill. “Did God really say?” was the serpent’s seemingly innocuous inquiry of Eve in the Garden of Eden. Just a little suggestion to the mind provided the foothold for evil that sent the whole human race tumbling into tragic disobedience and the threat of eternal ruin. Yes. Guard your mind. Everything is at stake.

The devil’s temptation to sexual unfaithfulness is coming at us full force from seemingly every direction these days: the television, the Internet, texting, Facebook, e-mail and a thousand other sources. Sad statistics displaying the weakness of marriages between Christians make clear the devil is winning. Guard your mind as you guard your life. Jesus’ advice with regard to such lust in the heart is radical indeed: “If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” It is metaphorical language no doubt but the meaning is clear — there should be zero tolerance where lustful thought is concerned.

Boundaries
Take other precautions as well. Take advantage of books such as “Boundaries in Marriage,” by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, to learn ways to protect your marriage by making unfaithfulness less likely. Learn how to avoid situations proven to increase threats to the marriage bond. Jesus has us pray, “Lead us not into temptation,” for good reason. Frequent interactions with the opposite sex in settings conducive to the establishment and nurturing of inappropriate emotional bonds put marriages at risk. Avoid such settings like the plague because that is exactly what they are where marriage is concerned. “Can a man embrace fire and his clothes not be burned?”

Most unfaithfulness occurs not because a husband or wife goes looking for an opportunity to betray his or her spouse but because he or she unwittingly and repeatedly puts himself or herself in circumstances conducive to unfaithfulness. Spend time in vulnerable contexts with a person of the opposite sex and when financial difficulties arise or trouble with the children or sexual problems or a thousand other sources of stress common to all marriages, that “other” person suddenly seems so attractive, so understanding, such a refuge and comfort, so unlike my wife or husband just now. Sin crouches at the door.

Thou Shalt
But perhaps the best biblical protection for marriage lies not in the “Thou shalt nots” but in the “thou shalts.” Thou shalt enjoy and satisfy thy sexual appetite with thy spouse. The biggest fan, supporter and promoter of sex in the universe is, in fact, the only true God. God invented sex after all. He is not ashamed of it, but proud of it. He’s all for it — within the bounds of holy matrimony. Our focal passages make clear that finding sexual fulfillment within marriage is meant to satisfy husband and wife and in so doing, provide the most powerful protection against unfaithfulness imaginable. Let’s protect, cherish, nurture and enjoy what we have at home, and we won’t need to go searching elsewhere.