As churches across Alabama observe Minister Appreciation Month in October, it may be helpful to reflect on some of the dynamics which help shape the relationship with the pastor.
First is the realization that a pastor, every minister for that matter, carries a special responsibility given to no other.
The pastor is concerned about the salvation and Christian walk of those touched by the ministry of the church. But the pastor also is concerned about all that affects those he serves. He is concerned about jobs, about marriages, about life struggles.
A pastor is intentional in his efforts to walk with people through life’s journey. His efforts are not always appreciated, but most of the time, companioning people through life’s joys and sorrows, victories and struggles can be a source of joy. Representing God’s presence in all of life is part of what God has called the pastor to do.
A pastor does not get to choose where he serves. The call to a church begins with an invitation by the congregation and a sense of affirmation from God. Only then can a minister accept or decline a pastorate.
Extended family
But wherever the pastor feels the sense of call becomes “home.” The people of the church are those who become part of the pastor’s extended family. They are the ones he is given to love and lead. Here he will put down roots and nurture relationships. Here he will demonstrate compassion and grace in the church and the community.
No church is just a stepping stone in a ministerial career. Each church is “home” for the pastor and his family.
Pastorates often began with high energy and even higher expectations. But God’s timetable is not always the timetable of the pastor’s dreams or the pulpit committee’s promises. Pastor and people often have to learn patience.
Relationships grow at different rates. Some spring to life quickly. Others take time and hard work.
Curbing impatience and frustrations is something both pastors and the members of the church must frequently practice in their everyday lives.
God does not call anyone to a position without equipping them for that service. Remembering that Christ is our sufficiency is imperative. Every pastor finds himself in positions for which he feels ill equipped, perhaps believing that someone else could do a better job.
A gospel song extols “learning to lean on Jesus.” That is what a minister has to do in such times. Jesus is our strength and it is His abiding presence which the pastor offers to hurting people. The loving, caring presence of Jesus, illustrated by the pastor’s ministry, is more important than all of the philosophical responses to the “why” questions so often asked.
Every pastor needs a support network of some type — a mentor, a peer group, a friend, a continuing education group. These resources are invaluable. They provide a listening ear, advice, encouragement, stimulation toward continued growth.
The pastor who works alone as if he were the Lone Ranger will face undue difficulties in multiple areas. Loneliness will be a constant companion, frustrations will compound and family stress will regularly increase.
It is one thing for a pastor to say, “I’m not perfect.” It is another for that pastor to come face to face with mistakes. No pastor is perfect. We know that. Neither is any church member. The pastor will make mistakes. Recognizing mistakes and taking responsibility for them is important.
Trying to justify a mistake or explain it away is never as helpful as owning the mistake and gracefully apologizing for the wrong. Defensiveness builds barriers. Humility is much less fatal to relationships and opportunity.
In this light, it is important for the pastor to listen to the people to find God’s voice in their feedback. Unfortunately, some church members seem to believe it is their duty to keep the pastor humble by pointing out everything they deem a mistake. Seldom is God’s voice found in such an attitude.
But churches are filled with members who love their pastor, support their pastor and pray for their pastor. Such members are frequently used by God to speak wisdom to the pastor. It is incumbent on the pastor to listen with spiritual ears to see if God is speaking through such caring members.
Remember the story of Moses recorded in Exodus 17? Joshua led Israel into battle and as long as Moses stood with the staff of God raised in his hands, Israel prevailed. When Moses grew tired and his hands drooped, Israel lost.
Verse 12 says Aaron and Hur sat Moses down on a rock and held up his hands. Israel won a great victory.
Church members can be Aaron and Hur to their pastor. They can expand the church’s ministry by “holding up his hands.” They can care for their pastor in his times of need. Not a life crisis necessarily but in the ongoing needs of life.
Sometimes it is harder to accept help than it is to provide help. A wise pastor will appreciate and humbly receive the care provided him and his family by members of the congregation or the church as a whole.
Week in and week out, a pastor plans worship for his congregation. He leads worship, Bible studies, prayer meetings and more. But like other members of the church, the pastor needs to worship God. He must be alert to those special moments when the sense of God’s presence overcomes all that is taking place. Such moments are different for different people but being in the awe-inspiring presence of a Holy God is as necessary for the pastor as it is for others.
Participant in worship
Churches do well to make sure their pastor is provided opportunities to be a participant in worship without being its planner or leader.
Finally, pastors do well to find contentment with the place they are serving. Equally, congregations do well to find contentment with their current pastor instead of wondering who will be next. Putting down roots, establishing relationships, becoming family and caring for one another is much closer to the will of God than a rebellious spirit that protests where one serves or the one who serves.
May God bless our pastors and our churches with healthy relationships between pastor and people.
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