By Tal Prince
After reading the first installment of this series, many of you may be reeling at the overwhelming waves of destruction that are seizing our country. Sadly I believe these are just the first waves coming onto shore and there are many more on the way. They are going to be larger. (Read part one of this series at www.thealabamabaptist.org.)
Believers are not immune to the grasp of pornography and sexual sin. We have all heard the recent stories of ministers swept into these troubled waters. We need to realize, as Joshua did, that we have sin in our camp — this is not in question.
We are one in Christ and as Paul wrote, “If one member suffers, all suffer together” (1 Cor. 12:26). Many of our brothers and sisters are suffering and desperately need help.
Last week, I wrote that seven out of 10 lay leaders recently admitted to intentionally looking at pornography at least once a week. These are men that profess to spend daily time in the Word of God and in prayer. These men are serving in leadership positions in our churches — yet 70 percent are looking at pornography regularly. Incidentally comScore Media Metrix reports that more than 70 percent of all men between the ages of 18 and 34 visit a pornographic Web site in any typical month.
Promise Keepers, at the height of its popularity, surveyed attendees of one of its stadium events, and more than 50 percent admitted to accessing pornography in the hotel during the weekend.
Women also are now viewing pornography thanks to the anonymity provided by the Internet. Today’s Christian Woman (TCW) reported that 34 percent of its readers admitted to intentionally accessing Internet pornography sites. In the fall of 2003, TCW reported that one out of every six women, including Christians, struggles with a pornography addiction. Current statistics show that more than one-third of the visitors to all adult Web sites are women and that more than 9 million women visit adult Web sites each month.
Pornography and sexual addiction respect no demographic line of demarcation. No profession is immune. Many Christians believe that pastors are immune to such temptation — or, at least, they should be. This is not the case, however.
We have all heard our share of stories in the last year of ministers getting caught in all kinds of sexual scandals — from the horrors of child molestation to use of pornography and from engagement in homosexual to heterosexual extramarital affairs.
The facts are that pastors are highly prone to temptation in this area. The amount of isolation inherent in ministry coupled with stress, exhaustion, carrying the weight of others’ needs and a flexible schedule creates a potent mixture that keeps ministers vulnerable.
In a recent conversation, H.B. London with Focus on the Family reported 15–30 percent of the phone calls Focus on the Family gets every day from pastors are about struggles with pornography and sex-related issues. He sees that number on the rise.
In one of the most heartbreaking conversations I’ve had in recent years, a young pastor I will call Steve from Oklahoma sat in my office and told me of his struggle with pornography. Steve told me how a few months ago, he had gone to see his mentor, a well-known Southern Baptist pastor, to talk to him about taking a larger church.
Steve’s mentor asked about the young pastor’s sex life with his wife and then informed him that taking a larger church was dangerous because more women would come on to him on a regular basis. He then pulled his keys out of his pocket, unlocked his desk drawer, pulled out a stack of pornographic movies and magazines and told Steve, “This is how I deal with that problem.” He gave Steve porn and sent him off to Oklahoma with his blessing.
I get calls from across the country every week from pastors that are struggling, and I deal with local counseling agencies that have a steady stream of ministers seeking help for an addiction to online pornography. I regularly attend preaching conferences and make it a habit to ask what percentage of rooms access porn when the hotel is full of preachers. I have yet to have that fall below 60 percent.
Several counselors tell me that their ministry clients usually will only enter through a back door so that no one will see them entering a counseling agency. Do you see how the pressure of perfection impacts them?
Ministry professionals are uniquely imprisoned, because they cannot let anyone know they are struggling. If they do, they will lose their jobs. If they get caught, they are usually quietly let go and they move to another state to take another church without getting any help. The cycle then repeats itself.
The problem is in the church. Whether we want to admit it — there is sin in the camp. This sin is affecting our relationships with each other, our spouses and our God. We can no longer sit idly by hoping the problem will go away if we ignore it long enough. It is with astonishing regularity that we are hearing of our brothers and sisters falling prey to the pitfalls of pornography and sexual sin. Our ministers are falling as well. From Ted Haggard on the national level to any number of ministers in Alabama in the last year, we are seeing more and more of our leaders enslaved.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus raised the bar on adultery. He takes away our ability to lie to ourselves and to others by saying if we have not physically committed the act, we are innocent. Jesus says it is what is in our hearts that matters. It is our hearts He wants to transform, not just our actions. If we have lusted, we are adulterers, according to the standard of Jesus.
If you are one of the thousands struggling in these chains, you are not alone. You feel you are but just look at the numbers. It is impossible. You are not alone and you are not hopeless. You need not suffer alone in the shadows of shame. Jesus, the Light of the World, came to drive away the shadows of shame so that you can stand blameless before the throne. You can break free. Your marriage can be salvaged. Your ministry can be more than you have ever dreamed. You can get help. The question is — will you?
EDITOR’S NOTE – Tal Prince, director of external relations for Samford University’s Beeson Divinity School, leads seminars across the nation on how ministers can be healed from pornography and sexual addictions.
He is also founding pastor of Tapestry of Hope, a church in Birmingham that ministers specifically to those struggling with addictions.
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