Romans 13:11–14

Family Bible Study
Chair of Theatre, Samford University; Southwestern Seminary graduate

Sexual Purity Matters
Genesis 2:18–25; Proverbs 5:1–23; Romans 13:11–14
In the series of lessons for January concerning some things that matter, I have tried to emphasize that the overarching thing that matters is relationships. Nothing could exemplify this point more clearly than a discussion of sexuality within the context of the Christian walk. Sexual purity should not be given special priority over other issues of purity including physical health, stewardship of time and talent, honesty and prayer. But sexuality has a metaphorical quality that summons from us a passionate response. Many cringe at the mere mention of the subject. Others feel the topic should not be discussed in a public forum, and still others find it one of God’s greatest gifts to His people. The unavoidable constant is that the issue has to do with relationship to our mate and to our God. Taken in the proper context, human sexuality is a rich and affirming part of God’s plan for us.

Genesis, God’s great relationship book, says in 2:18, “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” I can say with the utmost assuredness that this is the case in my life. My wife, Lynette, is my friend, my ballast and my truest confidant. Does this mean that the Sandleys don’t ever disagree or have conflict? Absolutely not. Anyone who knows me from work or life in general knows that would be impossible. But in the sense of the Genesis motif, Lynette and I are for each other. At the end of the day, even when we disagree, we sense that there is a oneness about our relationship. I have single friends whom God has blessed with a special clarity, and as a result, they are fulfilled without being married. For me, God provided what I needed in Lynette. The ideal relationship described in the garden is found in verse 25: “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” I think this verse refers to much more than clothing. I believe that in God’s ideal for us — a realm without sin — nakedness is pure trust, pure openness. Such a relationship requires absolute fidelity.

I use an exercise with young actors to teach them the need for trust on stage. I have an actor close his eyes and fall backward, and his partners catch him before he hits the ground. It is a scary exercise. Marriage is many times riskier. Proverbs 5 addresses one of the greatest pitfalls of marriage, the roving imagination, growing bored in the relationship: “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” In the modern world, we don’t all get married in our “youth” but the admonition remains valid. The writer of Proverbs is calling on believers to work at their initial investment and find the blessings daily in that relationship. In verse 19, he offers one of the most beautiful blessings in the Bible for a young couple, when he says, “may you ever be captivated by her love.” The writer is praying for something richer than physical attraction or romantic fascination. The writer is praying for lifelong devotion that will last even when the hair turns white and gravity works its worst ravages. The Proverbs writer is calling for the couple to remain one — interested, committed and attracted to the mate they were given. We are frail creatures and this is a difficult assignment. So what do we do in the case of divorce or if we simply never meet the mate described in Proverbs?

Romans 13, written by a single man, Paul, talks about the life we should all pursue — married, single, widowed or divorced. Paul, who lived life with urgency, realizing that our time on earth is brief and every moment counts, lists a catalogue of the fruitless behaviors he witnessed in the world of the Roman Empire. Then he offers a sound alternative, saying in verse 14, “Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.” Paul brings the whole discussion back to one of relationships. Sexuality, as with any other human activity, is best viewed in relational terms. If we pursue it selfishly, seeking what is in it for us above what is best for God and others, it will certainly be corrupted. So when we seek first the good of others and the Kingdom, we will make sound, faithful choices because sexual purity matters.