All the experts agree — today’s youth are getting mixed messages about the lessons to be learned from sports.
“What has happened to the idea that sports is about teaching the finest and truest principles of life? That used to be the point of athletics. Sports today has gone in the completely opposite direction. Athletic competition now demonstrates and teaches the ugliest and worst principles of life,” said Mike Blaylock, a longtime activist with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes Association.
Blaylock, who recently wrote a book for Christian athletes entitled, “The Right Way to Win,” points out the negative messages that go hand-in-hand with today’s sports mentality. He cites the new mantras as being: win at all cost; if someone hits you, hit him back; it is what the sport does for you, not what you do for the sport; if you do poorly, it is someone else’s fault, such as the coach or referee; gripe about everything; he who talks the best trash looks the best; you are worthless if you do not win.
“Somewhere we drifted far away from the idea of using athletics to prepare our children for true success in life,” Blaylock said. “I’m afraid that much of the responsibility for this falls on the shoulders of parents. In spite of all of the talk about pro athletes being role models and the powerful influence of the media in the lives of kids, experts still tell us that parents have more influence on their children’s attitudes and actions than anyone else,” the vice president of institutional development at the University of Mobile said.
Jeremiah Castille, a former NFL player with the Denver Broncos and Tampa Bay Buccaneers and current Birmingham high school coach shares Blaylock’s sentiments.
“Sports can be a wonderful tool for children by teaching them valuable lessons like sacrifice, putting others first, getting along with others and the importance of team effort,” Castille said. “As parents today, we need to focus on character building, not winning the games at all costs,” he emphasized.
A 1999 Time magazine article on children’s sports mentioned a hockey parent in suburban Washington who ran up to his son after an unexpected loss and raged at him. The father is quoted as saying, ”I’m very, very disappointed. The story quotes the boy’s reply as, “Yeah, Mom’s gonna chew me out too.”
Jim Sundberg, a 16-year Major League baseball player with the Kansas City Royals, teamed up with his wife, Janet, to write “How to Win at Sports Parenting” — an instructional book of sorts that teaches parents effective parenting skills for youth sports.
“Parents can do themselves — and their children — a favor by keeping sports in perspective,” said Sundberg. “Probably one of the biggest mistakes that parents make is over-management and over-involvement in their child’s athletics. It takes the fun out of the sport for the child,” he said.
His wife added, “Part of keeping the game in perspective is realizing that rules of etiquette and good sportsmanship apply to the sidelines as well as the playing field. Parents should avoid getting into conflict with other parents at all costs,” she advises.
The Sundbergs also caution parents against appearing upset, frustrated or disappointed with a child’s performance.
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