‘There Are a Lot of Us Who Feel This Way’

What pastor has not heard these chilling words? The words usually indicate disagreement in the congregation. Perhaps open conflict. Usually the words come from one who is not a "friend" of the pastor. A friend would sit down and talk to the pastor about his or her personal feelings. A friend would not need to bolster his or her position with the weight of numbers.

Only after repeated refusals of the pastor to listen would a friend inform the pastor that others in the congregation share similar feelings. And never would the words be spoken as a threat. From a friend, the words would convey information.

That is one reason pastors loathe to hear the words. The words usually are tinged with threat and delivered by one ready for a fight.

How should a pastor respond when faced with the message "there are a lot of us who feel this way?"

One pastor friend went right ahead with the church-approved project. Another pastor changed direction and both were right.

In the first instance, the church was voting to relocate and build a new building. The issue had been carefully worked through church committees and approved by the church at every point. At the last minute, a family in the church with a marginal participation record visited the pastor and objected. It wanted the church to remodel and stay where it was. "There are a lot of us who feel this way," the representatives declared.

The pastor shared the visit with the deacon chairman, the church treasurer and other leaders in the congregation. He found the core of church leadership was unanimously behind the relocation proposal, so he proceeded with the final vote.

As the family representatives had predicted, there were a lot of people who showed up at the business meeting to vote no. Practically all of them had not been at church except sporadically for years but still had their names on the role. Most had ties to three families in the small town.

The vote was 51–49. That is a close vote for relocating a church. But when I attended the dedication of the new building, even those who had opposed the move said moving the church to the main highway was the thing to do.

In the second instance, the pastor’s idea was endorsed by the church with about 60 percent of the vote but the pastor told the congregation that "God is not the author of confusion" and postponed moving forward until the church could be united in its goal.

Among those not endorsing the pastor’s idea were influential church leaders, part of the core on which the pastor depended. He recognized that division in the core of the church meant he may need to re-examine his priorities.

Obviously there are times when a pastor must champion the vision and values forming the mission of his call to a particular congregation. For example, if a pastor were called to a church to help it do evangelistic outreach in a growing community, it would be a betrayal of vision, values and call for the pastor to choose a different path because some of the leadership felt preserving the comfortable "family atmosphere" of the church a higher priority.

That would be a contest of values, and not to stand for values and call would be a betrayal of the people who brought the pastor there to lead in evangelism.

But not every disagreement involves such basic issues. Most do not. In an early pastorate, I wanted to divide a men’s Sunday School class into two classes. The men did not want to make the change. There were several discussions and my temptation was to make my leadership the issue. I was the pastor and the class members were resisting my leadership.

A wise counselor helped me realize that my leadership was not the issue. The issue was the relationships the class members had. The relationships were important and long-standing, and the men did not want to lose them. We started a new men’s class but with volunteers willing to help start a new class. The existing class was left intact and both prospered.

It is a poor pastoral leader who attacks people for normal, human reactions to change.

Pastors and other church leaders must take seriously the report that "there are a lot of us who feel this way." In Luke 14:28, Jesus cautions that His followers should count the cost of their actions lest they be unprepared for the outcomes.

Part of counting the cost in pastoral leadership is listening to the messages people deliver and to know the ones delivering the message and whom those persons might represent. Part of counting the cost is doing what is best for the congregation while being true to one’s calling and basic gospel values. Part of counting the cost is recognizing that one’s leadership is not at stake in every decision. There are times when the best pastoral leadership is to follow those who differ with one’s own position.

The hard part is knowing when to take what action. Alabama Baptists would do well to regularly pray that their pastoral leaders would know how to respond when they hear those fateful words "there are a lot of us who feel this way." It could make a difference in the fellowship of our churches.