Through connection, intimacy of fellowship, churches can address loneliness epidemic

A well-known senator stated in a recent interview on national news that loneliness is a public health crisis in America. If this is such a problem in our country, then it is also a problem in our churches. Several Baptist pastors have said that it is a problem in their congregations and communities.

Loneliness is described by Wikipedia as “an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. It is often associated with a perceived lack of connection and intimacy.” Loneliness and solitude share similar traits, but they are different from one another. Solitude is simply a situation in which a person does not have the company of others, but that does not necessarily indicate loneliness. People can feel lonely even when they are in groups of people, and so there is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. People can feel lonely for long or short periods of time but in either case, it can be intense and painful. 

“Loneliness is the human experience that drives many to live in isolation because they feel like no one understands what they are going through,” said Randy Kellough, pastor of Woodland Baptist Church in Brownsville, Tennessee. “The Church is to be on the front line of ministering to those affected by it.

Importance of fellowship

“One of the basic functions of churches by design is fellowship — not just the provision of a meal but giving time and space to people to experience togetherness, sharing life moments so that we can see we are not the only ones dealing with struggles. Churches can actively minister by training members in this work of ministry (as described in) Ephesians 4:12 to engage those who are often isolated. Recreational activities such as sports or going places as a group are ways to provide connections. Small groups of Sunday School classes also provide a way for people to connect. The power of this aspect of ministry can impact people deeply, especially those who struggle with loneliness.”

Greg Gilbreath, pastor of Madison Baptist Church in Jackson, Tennessee, said church members can share common traits of loneliness. 

“Churches have members who experience broken homes, widows and widowers, divorces, unemployment, having to relocate due to a job and moving away from your family. The young generation is so much into social media, and they often count the number of friends on Facebook as real friends. These are names and numbers that teens and youth do not know except by a list on social media.”

A family with two parents and five children ranging in age from about 10 to 18 was recently seen eating a meal in a nice restaurant. But instead of using this opportunity to be together and share their lives, each person had a cell phone and was checking phone texts and messages. There was absolutely no interaction. The parents were setting an example of this pattern as appropriate behavior. They missed the purpose of just being together. This is a common sight.

Early studies estimated that loneliness may be between 37% and 55% heritable. However, the first genome-wide association study analyses of loneliness conducted in 2016 found that the heredity of loneliness is much lower, between 14% and 27%. This study indicates that while genes do play a role in determining feelings of loneliness, they are less of a factor than a person’s experiences and the environment.

Making a difference

As pastors, Kellough and Gilbreath want to know when members are suffering and experiencing loneliness. All people need help at one time or another in their lives. One of the missions of the Church is to help each other in times of need. Here are a few ways a church can make a difference in the lives of those who are lonely:

1. Build a sense of community within the church. Small groups, social events, outreach in the community, volunteer opportunities and church counseling with trained counselors can provide guidance for the lonely people in the congregation.
2. Work with community resources in your area. Are professional counseling services available when needed?
3. Is your attendance down? Since COVID-19, many churches are experiencing a drop in attendance. People can stay home and watch the services on Facebook. If this is happening, those who are lonely are alone and need the fellowship of other Christians. There is no substitute for being with people. Jesus talks about finding the lost sheep in Luke 15. We need to pursue those “lost” people who have stopped attending our services. 
4. Extend the fruit of the Spirit to lonely people. All people need love, joy, peace and patience. Let your congregation be one where all people feel the love of Christ when they worship in your church. (adapted from churchtrac.com)

Galatians 5:22–23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

Alarming statistics

Teens and youth are often some of our most lonely people, and the result can be tragic. 

• According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide was the second-leading cause of death for youth between the ages of 10 and 24 in 2021. This is often seen as the result of loneliness.
• More teenagers and young adults die from suicide than from cancer, heart disease, AIDS, birth defects, stroke, pneumonia, influenza and chronic lung disease combined.
• Suicide resulted in more than 48,100 deaths of Americans in 2021.
• People younger than 25 who have been victims of cyberbullying are more than twice as likely to engage in self-harm and suicidal behaviors than their peers.