Parents, young adults and family counselors who have “been there” offer the following advice for preparing a recent high school graduate for life in college or the workplace.
- Arrange time for goodbyes. To ensure everyone receives a proper farewell, you might have to block out time on the calendar. Carleton Kendrick, a licensed family counselor and author, suggested that parents invite the teen’s friends to dinner and/or host a party with friends and relatives.
He advised parents to make a strong effort to arrange one-on-one family goodbyes not only for themselves but also with siblings and other close family members. Examples include dropping them off at their grandparents’ house for a couple of hours or giving them some extra money and asking them to take a younger sibling out for ice cream. At the same time, parents shouldn’t expect teens to admit they need these intimate moments.
- Make lists and go shopping. Walta Hattaway, an Oklahoma resident with ties to Dothan, said shopping time alone with her girls for their college and apartment needs was a special occasion. Making lists to get organized, going shopping and then beginning to pack things early helped take their minds off of their fears.
- Communicate confidence. You can allay teens’ fears of the future by trusting in their ability to make good decisions and communicating that trust to them. Kendrick suggested referring to past challenges and victories. Hattaway said it helped her girls to hear sincere, encouraging words about their parents’ belief in their abilities to “make it” in college and in life.
Tips for graduates
- Walk a mile in their shoes. Your parents birthed you, fed you, cared for you, coached you, clothed you and invested in you for 18 years, and now they must simply let you go? Kendrick said parents know they eventually must let go but it doesn’t make it easier. Teens need to try to be sensitive to all the emotions parents are feeling, too.
- Look forward to family goodbyes. Your family knows you need your time with friends. But your relationships with family members will be changing, too. Approach scheduled family farewells with a smile, and let your loved ones know how much you love and appreciate them.
- Be others-focused. While basking in all the attention of graduation and college preparation, it’s easy to become self-focused. Kendrick suggested staying away from the trap by making gifts for family and friends. For example, give photo albums you have put together or collections of written memories.
- Keep talking. Kendrick said by keeping the lines of communication open with your parents that last summer and after you’re gone from home, you will be helping yourself and your parents lay the foundation of a great parent/adult-child relationship. (Compiled by Jenifer Siemens)
Share with others: