Tragedy can provide talking points for parents

The recent shootings at Virginia Tech have caused lingering outrage and heartbreak across the nation. The tragedy has also brought back the haunting memories of the Columbine school massacre and other acts of violence in the nation’s recent past.
  
Such horrendous events, although often difficult to talk about, can create learning opportunities for children and their Christian parents.
  
According to Jenny Funderburke, children’s minister at Westwood Baptist Church, Alabaster, in Shelby Baptist Association, the first thing parents should realize is they cannot completely shield their children from frightening events. Schools often talk about current events, and with televisions almost always in near proximity, children may know more than their parents realize.
  
“Parents should ask kids what they know about a situation and clarify any misunderstandings or confusion,” Funderburke said. “And parents should be very open and honest with their kids.”
  
She also said, however, that age-­appropriateness is important when talking with children about such things as school violence. There is no need to provide graphic details at any age, and parents should consider a child’s maturity level and understanding of reality when talking about such things.
  
“It would be more appropriate to talk in detail about school violence with kids in older elementary and up,” she said. “Younger elementary kids will want to talk, too, but they also have very active imaginations, so parents should be careful about providing too much information too young.”
  
On www.kidshealth.org, health experts recommend much the same thing. According to the Web site, parents should “[deliver] the truth, but in a way that fits the emotional level of your child. The key is to be truthful, but not go into more detail than your child is interested in or can handle.”
  
Christian parents can also use the opportunity to teach their children about God’s love. Acts of violence often cause children and adults alike to question God, Funderburke said, but they also can lead people to a better understanding of God’s role in the world. 
  
“Children and adults may ask, ‘Why would God let that happen?’ or ‘Why didn’t God protect those kids?’Parents should remind kids that God hates evil and sin. He lets people make choices, and because of sin, sometimes people make terrible mistakes.”
  
Let children know, though, that God is still in control and will provide strength to endure this tragedy. “Parents should also remind kids that it is OK to not understand why things happen,” Funderburke said.