Your Voice

Open letter to Southern Baptists by sexual abuse ‘overcomer’

By Jane Brown
Special to TAB Media

EDITOR’S NOTE — After following the news of the Southern Baptist Convention Executive Committee’s ongoing discussions in relation to the Sexual Abuse Task Force and its investigation, Jane Brown, a retired music minister who lives in Mobile, reached out to TAB Media to share her story.

“Perhaps I have waited to tell my story ‘for such a time as this,’” said Brown. “I have chosen not to let a very hurtful time in my life define who I am. Rather, I want my relationship with Jesus to be what defines my life, not as a ‘survivor,’ but rather an overcomer.”

The following is an excerpt:

I find myself writing this letter with a plethora of emotions. In 2019, a friend sent me a link to the series the Houston Chronicle published on “Abuse of Faith.” This friend had no knowledge of my own past experience.

As I sat reading and sobbing, the flow of tears now blurring the words, my own story began playing on the screen of my mind.

Nearly 60 years ago

The article states, “In the past 20 years, a disturbing number of Southern Baptists with formal church roles have engaged in sexual misconduct.”

But my story says NO. This pattern began long before that … when I was a 15 year old in 1962 … at the hands of a trustee serving on one of our SBC entity boards.

My heart was crying for those 700 girls who had suffered in silence thinking the same thing. But even greater than the sorrow was the righteous indignation that if what happened to me had not been … buried … in the name of “protecting the testimony of the church,” how many women would have been spared?

Instead, they are forever living with those memories not only to protect the church, but more importantly to leaders of the past … and the name of … the SBC.

I write in hopes of helping you understand that because my abuse involved an SBC leader … who served in other high-profile positions, there was no accountability, and immunity was freely given.

As my parents and I navigated the legal system behind secretive closed doors, we learned there was another victim. This same man had molested another teenage girl 17 years earlier, who was quietly relocated with her family to another state.

Meanwhile, my abuser’s positions continued to grow. This man (now deceased) was the husband of my [Girls in Action] leader at the prominent church in Nashville where we were members.

He began his abuse at a GA sleepover and continued for several months, even once taking me to another state. He threatened me if I told anyone.

When my abuse came to light, my family found ourselves in a legal conference room where mediation was to be “worked out.” I sat in total fear and amazement as my abuser tried to weave his story to be my fault. However, after that meeting, he stalked my home. … Nothing was ever reported, and the police did nothing to protect me.

Three months later I turned 16, took an early entrance exam to college and moved to Birmingham to start school. … On several occasions … he drove from Nashville to intimidate me. The police in Birmingham were willing to grant a restraining order against him.

As a result, he asked for forgiveness for what he called becoming a victim and secured immediate restoration at church, the same church that 17 years earlier had stood by him. He also continued in all of his SBC jobs.

Family asked to leave

My family lost our church home. My parents were never able to find a church that felt like home again, haunted by the embarrassment and heartache that accompanied our experience.

A number of years later, the pastor at the time of my abuse visited my father and apologized for siding with my abuser.

I truly want to see our great denomination be willing to confront this issue and accept the responsibility of the shame and blame put on me and all these precious young victims that have come since. I want to see us move forward to do whatever possible to protect our children and youth from the hurt and pain Satan is constantly seeking to inflict.

For the first time … I have hope in regards to this issue. I pray God’s wisdom and blessings on you as you work to solve this problem.

Trauma comes to church

One in 4 women and 1 in 5 men in America has been or will be sexually assaulted. That’s just sexual assault, not including other forms of abuse and trauma.

That means that if you have more than three women or four men in your church, statistically speaking, the survivors are already there.

When someone opens up to you about abuse of any kind, your first impulse is going to be to “fix it.” Please don’t. … When someone opens up to you about abuse, please let the first words out of your mouth be “thank you.” They didn’t have to let you in this far, and they took a big risk doing it.

Secondly, convey that you believe them. Being seen and heard is remarkably reparative in and of itself. Finally, ask how you can support them. Everybody’s in a different place in their healing journey. You don’t have to fix everything. All you have to do is meet them where they’re at with empathy and genuineness.

David Hughes
Licensed Christian counselor
Raleigh, North Carolina

Adapted from a blog post at sbcvoices.com. Read the full blog post at tabonline.org/hughes. Used with permission.

Living in the moment

By Rick Lance
Executive director
Alabama Baptist State Board of Missions

As we face the challenges of 2022, we may be anxious about the prospects before us. I think that is a normal response. However, we cannot live in fear for “God has not given us a spirit of fear” (2 Tim. 1:7).

Perhaps we should resolve to live in the moment. That sounds easy enough to do, but for many of us, it is a struggle to accomplish.

Some are caught in the grip of the past. The past can enslave. Life experiences can cause you to become so fixated on what has happened in the past you cannot find the strength to see what God is doing in your life in the present.

Guilty feelings over failures and disappointments in life are a product of our sinful nature and the fact that we live in a fallen world. Seeking forgiveness from God and living a forgiving life can liberate us from the terrible effects of such guilt and shame.

Living in the future can cause you to live in exile from the present too. We all look to the future with anticipation of something new and good happening. Planning for it is wise. But being enslaved by “what’s next” can rob you of the joys of the present moment.

I must confess I have done both. Therefore, with the strength that only our Lord can give (Phil. 4:13), I am going to seek to live in each moment God gives me in 2022.

Living in the present is to be at home with Christ. With His power, we can enter the present knowing this moment can be just as significant as any past or future experience.

A past always precedes us, and the promise of a future is ever before us. Yet the present is our home. This is the moment we can most redemptively meet Christ.

“You don’t need permission to do the Great Commission.”

Pastor Bill Wilks
NorthPark Baptist Church, Trussville

God does mighty things through the least likely vessel. It’s not about us; it’s about Him.

Pastor Tony Reynolds
Randolph Baptist Church

“How churches work together, how churches send together — it’s beautiful,” said Meg Brown, associate minister to children at Dawson Memorial Baptist Church in Birmingham.

The Christian life is a battle not a dream.

Morris Murray Jr.
Jasper, Ala.

I have learned through the years that what is important is that I worship — sometimes inspired by the music, sometimes in spite of the music. God loves music that comes from the heart.

Elizabeth Carter, organist
First Baptist Church Decatur

“We have had so many servants of God who have served through the years and laid the proper foundation so our church will be able to be a light for many years to come,” said George Robinson, pastor of New Haven Baptist Church in Anniston, on the church’s 75th anniversary.

“From the bottom of my heart, I have never been more proud of any graduates that I have had the joy of presiding over,” said Danny Akin of 24 inmates who earned a bachelor of arts diploma in pastoral ministry through a special program with Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Satan can’t produce anything. He just perverts what God has already produced … so the part of rap that’s being exposed to people is the part that he’s perverting.

Pastor Dewayne Rembert
Flatline Church at Chisholm

From the Twitterverse

@bobgoff
No one leads people to Jesus; He leads people to Himself. All the pressure is off. Just go love everybody.

@nathanafinn
Others will follow you based upon your position, and they may even appreciate you based upon your gifts. But they will only respect you based upon your integrity.

@ethicist
No word from God will ever fail.

@brocraigc
“We have a Friend on the throne. He will use His influence for those who entrust their affairs in His hands.” —Spurgeon

@scottdawson
We all love to be the “Daniel in the lion’s den” figure.

However, sometimes we are the “Uriah, the Hittite.” (Figuratively, not literally)

Both were faithful to their task.

Lord, make us faithful, if we see the victory or suffer the defeat. May we be found faithful!

@rcsprouljr
There’s no secret knowledge, no special insight save this — stop looking for either & rest in this — I’m a sinner. Jesus died for me. My heavenly Father loves me.

Nothing to be proud of, to debate about, to set yourself above other saved sinners. Everything to give thanks for.

@LysaTerKeurst
Learning deeper trust in God doesn’t often happen in straight lines of obedience. It’s when we cycle through trials, tripping and sometimes falling, that we realize our desperate need for Him.

Knowing our need for Him leads us to putting our trust in Him.

@Clawlessjr
Too many churches do the hard work of long-range strategizing but then shelve the report when the work is too complicated. Seldom do they do another round of planning anytime soon.

@DrKBlackwell
It should never be evangelism and then discipleship. Jesus said “make disciples” not “convert people and then teach them.” Making disciples is one holistic process, it is never bifurcated.

@dandarling
The church needs both criticism and comfort, prophets and pastors. We need warnings brought with tears. We need encouragement delivered by shepherds. We need it all.