10 things your pastor’s wife wants you to know
By Shari Thomas
Co-founder, Parakaleo.us
Many women married to a pastor enjoy a wonderful, caring church community and most enjoy working with their husbands to see God’s kingdom expand in their city. But here are some things many pastors’ wives have in common.
10. She is her own person — not an appendage of the pastor.
9. She possesses a calling whether inside or outside the church.
8. She may struggle financially.
7. She shares her husband with the whole church.
6. She is harmed by gossip.
5. She lives with unrealistic expectations from others but most often from herself.
4. She probably finds friendships in the church tricky to navigate. Rich friendships can be had but they require maturity and an understanding that some topics are off limits.
3. She’s harmed by criticism of her husband. Pastors have been told they don’t work hard enough, don’t disciple enough, don’t preach well enough, don’t visit congregants enough. And unlike spouses in many other professions these are the same people with whom she worships and fellowships.
2. She lives with stress and ambiguity. For the pastoral family — pastor, spouse and children — the expectations are not usually clear which causes high levels of stress. Consider showing her the same compassion you would extend to someone who has recently received hard news. Why? Because this has most likely been her experience on any given day. Hearing that a trusted staff member plans on resigning, a key church leader is having an affair, the church cannot pay its bills or her husband’s job is in jeopardy are the types of revelations women in ministry face on a regular basis.
Regardless of the differences the item every pastor’s wife has in common is No. 1.
1. She, like you and me, doesn’t get her righteousness from measuring up to the standards of others, from her church attendance, from knowing Scripture or from how much money she spends on her wardrobe.
In God’s courtroom the verdict has been given. Her flaws, mistakes, shame and sin as well as all her goodness was placed on Jesus Christ. He took on Himself what she deserved. And what’s more? God gave her Christ’s righteousness. She has been given the verdict of righteous, beloved daughter.
EDITOR’S NOTE — Adapted from a blog post by Shari Thomas, co-founder of Parakaleo, a nonprofit serving women in church planting. The original post can be found at sharithomas.org/who-is-the-woman-married-to-your-pastor/.
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Fulfilling life’s purpose
The mission of Alabama Baptist Retirement Centers (ABRC) is to provide affordable housing to lower income seniors in order that they might retain their dignity, independence and a sense of belonging, as well as their best possible health as they experience fulfillment in their life’s purpose under God.
We fulfill our Great Commission ministry in part through the monthly Cooperative Program allocation we receive. We are most grateful for these gifts as they afford us the opportunity to share Christ’s love with our residents through various activities throughout the year or by providing for immediate needs.
It has been our privilege to introduce those who have toured the new State Board of Missions facility in Prattville to the ministry of ABRC.
We look forward to seeing how God will work through ABRC at “such a time as this” as we continue to invest in the lives and needs of baby boomers as they transition into retirement.
We invite you to visit our website at www.albrc.org to learn more about our ministry.
Even better bring your senior adults to visit one of our locations.
—Ray Burdeshaw
EDITOR’S NOTE — Ray Burdeshaw is acting executive director of the Alabama Baptist Retirement Centers.
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Letter to the Editor
On June 6, President Donald Trump stood on the wind-swept beaches of Normandy, France, amidst other world leaders and a handful of surviving World War II D-Day veterans and delivered the most stirring, inspirational and poignant speech I have witnessed.
The president highlighted the invasion which resulted in thousands of American casualties. He focused on the ordinary boys from the farms of middle America and the streets of small-town USA that answered the call — all 16.1 million.
This story has special meaning for me personally. My Uncle Fred drove a landing craft ferrying troops from ships onto the beach at Normandy on D-Day.
He was shot through the knee, evacuated to a field hospital, recovered and was back in combat within two months. He was already back on the combat line when my grandparents received notice of his wounds.
God Bless America — especially the living and dead of Normandy.
James W. Anderson
Talladega, Ala.
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It’s one thing to listen but it’s another to learn and then you lead people. When we started loving each other, things started to change in our community.
Pastor Buddy Gray
Hunter Street Baptist Church, Birmingham
We want our fellow Southern Baptists to know that we are here if they have a Jewish neighbor that they need to minister to. We want to be able to help them.
Ric Worshill
Executive director, Southern Baptist Messianic Fellowship
No other American family of churches is invested in theological education the way Southern Baptists are invested.
Chuck Kelley
Retiring president, New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary
It doesn’t matter what you do; if you do it better then other people will be blessed because you did.
Richard Blackaby
Author, Bible teacher and leadership coach
Sharing Jesus is truly the way to put the gospel above all.
Timothy Cockes
Graduate student at Liberty University and Crossover Birmingham participant
There’s going to be times that there’s smooth sailing waters and your anchor is Jesus and things are going good in your ministry, in your home. There’s going to be times that it’s troubled, rough waters and you’re barely holding your head up.
Kim Hamm
President, SBC Ministers’ Wives Luncheon
No one, whether acting as a private citizen or business owner, should be forced to violate his or her conscience, even for issues that our culture demands tolerance with no dissent.
Russell Moore
President, Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission
True diversity is embracing different cultures and incorporating their perspectives in daily operations. … Southern Baptists, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain by becoming a pluralistic denomination which embraces different cultural expressions in creating our denominational tapestry.
Jeff Iorg
President, Gateway Seminary
One of the ways God will accomplish a great multitude from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages … will be through those who go on to share what they have heard from us. … In an unprecedented season of the globalization of missions, those who Southern Baptists have reached are now taking the gospel to the nations themselves.
Paul Chitwood
President, International Mission Board
While each [Native American] tribe is unique, with its own history, culture and current situation, there are commonalities that bind Native people together and we’re working to find and develop resource tools to bridge the barriers that have hindered the gospel message.
Gary Hawkins
Executive director, Fellowship of Native American Christians (FoNAC) and pastor of Native Stone Baptist Mission, Tulsa, Okla.
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From the Twitterverse
@ArtRainer
Southern Baptists — After having coffee with friends at a Birmingham cafe, the server refused to let us pay. Her reason? SBCer’s generosity to her during the convention. Well done, Southern Baptists. #SBC19 #GiveGenerously
@bcmlink
Pray for students to grow in their faith this summer! Regardless of what their summer looks like, we pray that they are learning more about the Lord and growing deeper in their faith. #ReachEveryStudent
@alan_floyd
“A child is going to have a hard time finding a Father in God if they can’t find much of God in their father.” Leave a Legacy of Blessing. See Prov. 20:7
@EdLitton
For all who think we have nothing from which to repent or lament for in our times, read Nehemiah chapter one. Nehemiah confesses the condition of Jerusalem and he owns the sins that caused it and kept it in rubble.
@macbrunson
Passion, a compelling emotional feeling, is no replacement for poor theology. I don’t care how deeply you feel, The Word has the final say.
@ChandlerDonegan
What if we as Christians glorified God and made much of the gospel in our tweets in such a way that it actually drove others away from social media, to the Word of God, and into community within the local church?
@alsbom
Pray for your pastor’s family to seek God in their lives and to not let past church hurts isolate them. #PrayingAlabama
@MBChurchAL
Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in life and don’t know how your needs will be met? In life’s deserts, we quickly forget that God will give us exactly what we need for today. Trust him to provide your “daily bread” and walk with him as he leads you to green pastures.
@jaredcwilson
If your kids aren’t being discipled by you and your church, they’re being discipled by the world. It’s one or the other. Nobody grows up un-discipled.
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